Doula School Canada

Category: Labour Doula

  • Ecuador Doula Immersion 2019

    [vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text][/vc_column_text][mk_padding_divider][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1563461638717{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]It’s here!

    A group of doulas, including a number from Doula Training Canada, have started the journey to Ecuador to volunteer and learn as doulas.

    A few of our members joined Group One with Wombs of the World and we cannot wait to hear more about their adventures, while others will be embarking for their Group Two experience tomorrow.  Learning and adventure and support await!

    Shaunacy, our life-long learning Director, will be joining Group Two and has posted the “must-have’s” of packing for a two week doula immersion program.

    Follow along over the course of the next few weeks as we post pictures, experiences, and all our Ecuadorian learning fun!

    [/vc_column_text][mk_padding_divider][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1563461705782{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]Suggestions for packing for a two week doula volunteer trip:

    [/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”118340″ img_size=”medium” alignment=”center”][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1563462276545{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]

    • Super comfortable shoes.  You will be doing a lot of walking during clinic hours and your time exploring the country you are volunteering in.  Comfortable shoes = packing item numero uno!
    • Journal and pen.  You are certainly going to want to take some time to write down your experiences.  It’s a great way to unwind at the end of a busy day and carve out some time for yourself.
    • Cards with birth/ doula related sayings in the native tongue of the country you are visiting.  This will help you feel more confident in approaching persons who may not speak the same language as you.  It is also respectful to try to speak their language first and can really open up body-to-body trust when speaking isn’t the primary form of doula support.  Having these in Tanzania helped me huge when trying to remember Swahili.
    • Snacks.  I often bring cliff bars and my favourite herbal teas.  If you are a picky eater, or want to eat often, then having a quick “grab and go” snack in your bag is a great idea.
    • A bag big enough for awesome things.  When you travel abroad you often have some exploring days that bring you to artisan markets.  Having the space to grab up a few amazing items for home is a good idea.  Or plan to bring old clothes and leave them there to create space!
    • A doula name badge.  Many immersion programs (like our amazing friends at Wombs of the World) request that you wear a name tag that says DOULA on it during clinic days.  Have fun and create something with your picture, name and DOULA on it.  You may also want to add some of those doula sayings mentioned above onto a lanyard with this badge.
    • Photocopies of your passport, travel documents, and locations you will be staying.  This will help you feel prepared and safe for anything that may pop up (good travel tip in general!).
    • Lastly… an open mind!  Packing and preparing for two weeks away can feel overwhelming when you are heading to a country that you haven’t visited before, and maybe working in environments you are not fully aware of.  Keeping an open mind and remembering that you are there to learn not save is super important.  The opportunities that volunteer immersion programs provide are long-lasting and profound.  Going with an open mind, a lust to learn, and a heart full of compassion is what should fill most of your packing time!

    [/vc_column_text][mk_padding_divider][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1563462371907{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]Interested in learning more about volunteer support as a doula?

    Check out Wombs of the World (a great example of a professionally organized option) and feel free to email info@stefanie-techops.wisdmlabs.net at any time with questions![/vc_column_text][mk_padding_divider][/vc_column][/vc_row]

  • DTC Endorses the National Aboriginal Council of Midwives position statements (2019)

    DTC Endorses the National Aboriginal Council of Midwives position statements (2019)

    [vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1559663840699{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]

    For Immediate Release: May 31, 2019 (MADOC, ON, CANADA)
     
    Doula Training Canada© endorses the National Aboriginal Council of Midwives’ Position Statements on Evacuation for Birth, Indigenous Child Apprehensions, and Forced and Coerced Sterilization of Indigenous Peoples
     
    The National Aboriginal Council of Midwives (NACM) has released three position statements on evacuation for birth, Indigenous child apprehensions, and forced and coerced sterilization of Indigenous Peoples. In the position statements, NACM condemns the:
    routine and blanket evacuation of pregnant people for birth and demands the return of birthing services to all Indigenous communities;
    over-representation of Indigenous infants and children in child protection services across the country; and
    forced, coerced, and involuntary sterilization of Indigenous Peoples.
     
    As an ally organization to Indigenous Peoples, and as an organization that strives to do better for Indigenous families, Doula Canada officially endorses the NACM position statements. The Doula Canada’s mission is to improve perinatal, infant and family well-being by educating and supporting professional doulas in Canada and around the world. Doula Canada supports all persons in their rights to bodily autonomy and free and informed consent. We support the inherent right of Indigenous Peoples to birth in their own communities, to access safe and culturally relevant care close to home, and to restore Indigenous birth practices.
     
    Doula Canada recognizes that we have a role to play in making doula training and doula services more accessible to Indigenous Peoples. We are committed to respectful, inclusive and reciprocal relationships with Indigenous doulas and health care providers, and the Indigenous families and communities we serve.
     
    We acknowledge that Indigenous doulas are ideal companions for Indigenous families. To provide equitable access to doula training and to increase the number of professionally trained Indigenous doulas, we are launching an Indigenous Doula Scholarship in September 2019.
     
    The complete position statements can be found at NACM’s website at https://indigenousmidwifery.ca/position-statements/.

    [/vc_column_text][mk_padding_divider][vc_btn title=”Download PDF copy of Media Release” style=”classic” shape=”square” color=”mulled-wine” size=”lg” align=”left” link=”url:%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2019%2F06%2Fdtc-endorsement-of-nacm-position-statements-for-immediate-release.pdf||target:%20_blank|”][mk_padding_divider][/vc_column][/vc_row]

  • Working Through Shame – an important doula lesson

    Working Through Shame – an important doula lesson

    [vc_row][vc_column][vc_single_image image=”73471″ img_size=”full” alignment=”center”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1551307504674{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]Guest Blogger Jillian Hand from Hand to Heart Doula Services in St.John’s NL shares with us the importance of working through shame in doula work. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1551308858438{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]When I first read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown it rocked my world. What a HUGE game changer. So, imagine my excitement when it was added to the Doula Canada required reading list. If you haven’t already had the pleasure of reading Brene Brown’s work, here’s a quick bio – Brene Brown is a researcher with a Masters and PhD in Social Work. She lives in Houston and teaches as a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College in Social Work. She has spent over a decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.

    Pretty heavy topics, right? How do these pertain to doula work, you ask? Well, think about it. What is more vulnerable than being in the position of giving birth? How often do we hear our clients express sentiments like “I feel like a failure”; “I’m just not strong enough”; “I felt invisible and worthless” – these are all statements involving shame.

    So, let’s dig a bit deeper into shame. Brown defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging” (pg 69). She goes on to explain that shame is the fear of disconnection – “it’s the fear that something we’ve done or failed to do, an ideal that we’ve not lived up to, or a goal that we’ve not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection” (pg 68). We all experience shame. It is a universal emotion and unless you lack the capacity for empathy (sociopath anyone?), you have experienced it. Brown also distinguishes between guilt and shame. The difference is best understood with the following example – Guilt = I did something bad; shame = I AM bad. See the difference?

    Let’s use an example we can relate to. As a doula, I’m sure we have all experienced moments of shame. If you haven’t yet, you will. Trust me. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. My first bout of shame as a doula was with my third client. We had discussed her wishes prior to the birth and I knew she wanted to avoid an episiotomy if at all possible. I supported her to the best of my abilities throughout her labor and when it came time to push. Then, this happened – As she was lying supine, pushing with all her might, I watched the OB pull out a pair of scissors. In my head, I knew I should say something because it was obvious at this point that he didn’t plan to. But I froze – maybe out of fear of confrontation or perhaps I was just too intimidated at that point to question the decisions of a doctor. I’m still not sure why I didn’t speak up for her. But I didn’t; and he cut her without a word.

    I had so much guilt for such a long time. I did something bad. I didn’t speak up for her. I didn’t protect her in the way I was meant to. I didn’t give her the chance to say no. I watched him violate her informed consent and did nothing. The guilt was overwhelming… But the shame.. well, the shame was excruciating.  Because you see, I didn’t only think I DID something bad, I also thought I WAS bad. What a horrible doula I was! I felt unfit and unworthy of supporting women during this precious, vulnerable time. Not only did I harbor guilt about my lack of action, but I internalized it and made it about who I was as a person, as a doula. Now THAT is shame.

    I didn’t talk about that experience for a long time. I never admitted that I saw those scissors. I found it hard to look my client in the eye while she explained after the fact how painful her recovery was. I avoided the second postpartum visit because I couldn’t face the shame I was experiencing… and of course, that just reinforced my shame, deepening it until I felt like I was drowning.  That’s what shame does – it spirals and makes us pull away, disconnect, avoid. The more it silences us, the larger it looms. I almost gave up being a doula after that.

    I didn’t quit though. I came to learn that I was actually a very good doula. I just wasn’t perfect. I learned to cut myself some slack when it comes to mistakes. I found empathy in my heart for that newbie doula who still hadn’t found her voice to speak up against obstetric violence, and who lacked the confidence to take a stand. She did the best she could in that moment. I truly believe that now.

    As doulas, we will experience shame. We will also witness the shame of others – our clients, their partners, family members, our doula colleagues. Unfortunately, Brown’s research confirms that there really is no way of avoiding shame. Shame resistance is impossible. “As long as we care about connection, the fear of disconnection will always be a powerful force in our lives, and the pain caused by shame will always be real” (pg 74). What Brown did discover however is that we have the ability to build shame resilience. “Shame resilience is a strategy for protecting connection – out connection with ourselves and out connections with the people we care about” (pg 76). It’s about moving from shame to empathy, which is the real antidote for shame. It’s the “(pg 74).[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column border_color=”#441f93″ blend_mode=”soft-light” css=”.vc_custom_1551308244095{background-color: #300032 !important;}”][mk_blockquote font_family=”none”]It’s the “ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing out values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than we had going into it” (pg 74).[/mk_blockquote][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1551308385042{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]So, how do we build our shame resilience? Brown identifies four elements, and the steps don’t always have to happen in order. They are:

    Recognizing Shame and Understanding Its Triggers.

    I love the description “Shame is biology and biography”. To build shame resistance, we must first be able to detect shame in our bodies. That’s the biology. Do we flush? Feel nauseous? Get headaches? What is our physical reaction? I know mine inside and out. First, I feel queasy and I get clammy. Then, my mind starts to race, and my breath quickens and a headache starts, right behind my eyes. I flush and can feel the grip of anxiety.

    The biography piece refers to our ability to figure out what messages and expectations triggered it. What’s the story we are telling ourselves? Let’s take my shame story for example. The expectations I set for myself were that, as a doula, it was my sole responsibility to protect my client against unwanted interventions in any situation.

     Practicing Critical Awareness.

    This is where reality checking comes into play. How realistic or attainable are the messages and expectations driving your shame? Was it realistic for me to set the expectation that I alone was responsible for the actions of my client’s healthcare team? Was it attainable for me to assume that I had the power to stop unwanted intervention? I know now that I am only one person.

    Reaching out.

    Are you sharing your story? Empathy requires connection and if we aren’t reaching out, we aren’t connecting. WHO we choose to share our story with is vital. Are we choosing someone who has earned the right to witness our vulnerability? Are they going to hold space for us in a non-judgmental way? If not, we might want to choose someone else because those that judge us and do not have the ability to provide us with compassion and empathy will only feed our shame.

    When I first shared my story, it was with another doula who I trusted wholeheartedly. She listened and validated me, and was able to tell me about her own experience with shame. I didn’t feel alone anymore, and it made me realize that we all have moments of humanness where we make mistakes.

    Speaking Shame.

    Finally, are you identifying shame as SHAME? Are you saying the word, out loud? It’s important that we talk about shame and ask for what we need when we feel shame. By naming it, it loses its power.

    Now, when I feel shame coming on, I look it in the face. I say to myself “This is shame”. I know exactly what I need to do to work through it. I call that same friend you gets me and I say “I need help, I’m in a shame spiral”. She knows exactly what that means. We talk it out. I usually cry. I tell her I need to hear that I’m still a good doula. I need her to believe that I did the best I could. She always believes me. Always.

    Working through shame takes work, and self-compassion, and most of all, empathy. Remember, you need to go I.N.T.O it.

    Identify it.

    Name it.

    Talk about it.

    Own it.

    I promise you, you will make it to the other side.

    Brown, brene. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way we Live, Love, and Parent. New York: Avery Publishing.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1551307936785{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]

    Jillian is a certified birth and postpartum doula through both Doula Training Canada and DONA International . She is one of the original founders of the Doula Collective of Newfoundland and Labrador.She is also a Certified Birthing From Within® mentor and doula and  a Birthing From Within® Birth Story Listener. This training, along with a master’s degree in social work, has provided her with the necessary skills to facilitate the processing of difficult birth experiences in a way that leads to growth and wholeness. Finally, She is a birth doula trainer through Doula Training Canada, as well as the mother of two beautiful and creative children. 

    [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_facebook][/vc_column][/vc_row]

  • Why Sex & Birth Support Person? With Tynan Rhea

    Doula Canada in partnership with Tynan Rhea is offering our Sex and Birth Support Person Training again starting October 1st. Below, Tynan discusses the importance of this training and why discussing sex with clients is a vital part of pregnancy and postpartum support . 

    When I give talks to professionals on Sex & Birth, or when I go to talks about integrating sexual health questions into any health profession, there’s one phrase I hear all too often:

    “If my client has any questions, I trust that they will ask me.”

    But here’s the thing… no they won’t! Okay, maybe sometimes, but more often than not people will not come forward with their sexual health questions.

    Why won’t people ask? Because they’re ashamed. Or embarrassed. Or they’re scared they’re not normal, that their care provider will treat them differently, or ignore their question, or make them feel like they did something wrong. Many of us find the topic of sexual health emotionally charged. I teach about it for a living and I still get a little anxious bringing up a sexual health concern with a new doctor. Not because I am ashamed or don’t feel I have a right to healthy sexuality, but because I don’t know what my care providers politics are if they don’t bring it up. I don’t know if this person is comfortable, knowledgable, or even indifferent. I do know that sex is a huge stigma for some folks still, and because of that stigma they may directly or indirectly shame me because of their own discomfort. Meaning, their response to my question could psychologically harm me. That’s a big deal!

    That’s why as front-line birth professionals we have an obligation to directly ask our clients if they have an sexual health concerns or questions. That also means, we need to educate ourselves on what kinds of sexual health needs folks might have during conception, pregnancy, labour, or the postpartum period. That doesn’t mean we have to know everything, you are definitely allowed to say, “that’s a great question! I’m not sure what the answer is, I’ll look into that for you and in the meantime, here is a great referral.” It does mean we have to take initiative, though, and be open to listening to our client’s needs.

    What’s as important as knowledge, is also self-reflection. Has someone ever told you about a food they love to eat that made you want to gag? More than one of my family members hates chocolate, like, really hates it. Luckily, because most people I know love chocolate at least half as much as I do, I don’t feel ashamed for my love of chocolate when so-and-so closes their eyes and makes a gag sound. Sex is similar and in a very important way also different. Because sex is so taboo, and most of us have felt some kind of judgement or shame for some aspect of our sexuality over the course of our lifetime, it’s all the more important to check-ourselves.

    Catch that micro expression of disgust before it happens! Be open to different forms of sexual expression and needs. This doesn’t mean you have to do it! It does mean you have to think about it, reflect on it, and maybe even challenge yourself: where did this assumption come from? What disgusts me about this? What excites me? Why do I think this is okay/wrong/neutral?

    Self-reflection also means not trying to inflict our politics or sexual preferences onto our clients, either. If someone just isn’t into sex before marriage or hitting up swingers clubs, that’s their business and their choice. It doesn’t matter if swinging was your gateway into a personal sexual revolution- that’s your story and it’s valid! But it doesn’t mean it’s theirs. It can be difficult to know the difference sometimes (I’m guilty of it, oh goodness), but that’s why self-reflection is so vital!

    The Sex & Birth Personal Support Worker course is designed to help you gain the knowledge and skills you need to ask the right questions and find the right answers, as well as reflect on your own experiences as a sexual being so you can hold space for your clients. You don’t have to know everything, and you don’t have to love everything, but you do have to provide reproductive health support and part of that support is about sex!

    So, instead of “if my client has any questions, I trust that they will ask me,” let’s start acting from a place of, “if my client has any questions, I’ll know because I asked.”.

    Tynan Rhea is a settler with German and Czechoslovakian ancestry. Tynan has a private practice online and in Toronto as a counselor, aromatherapist, and doula specializing in sex, intimacy, and relationships throughout the reproductive years and founder of PostpartumSex.com. Tynan graduated from the University of Waterloo with a Joint Honours Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Sexuality, Marriage, & Family. They received their doula training from the Revolutionary Doula Training program and their aromatherapy training with Anarres Apothecary Apprenticeship program. Tynan is currently enrolled at Yorkville University doing their Masters of Arts Counselling Psychology degree. Tynan approaches their practice from sex-positive, trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and feminist frameworks. Find Tynan on Facebook, Instagram @TynanRhea or TynanRhea.com

  • Not all Doulas are created equal.

    Not all Doulas are created equal.

    Recently some Doula Canada members have had their hands full with comments or suggestions that “not all doulas are created equal.”

    For many years Doula Canada has prided itself on our efforts to build a unique, and uniquely Canadian, doula training and membership for our International members.  We haven’t felt the need to justify our curriculum or our presence to others because, well, “if you haven’t bought the book how do you know it wasn’t worth the read?”

    However, as our #doulanation continues to run into the discourse about “what makes a good doula” we feel it is important to write our position on the “not all doulas are created equal” suggestions floating about (a-boot, just to clarify).

    Here are 7 reasons why Doula Canada doulas and childbirth educators are NOT created equal:

    1.  Super Selfhood:  Our members come from diverse communities, have diverse backgrounds, and bring diverse expectations about what they would like to glean from their learning experience with Doula Canada.  We respect this like WHOA!  No cookie cutting happening over here.  Pure unequal awesomeness happening!
    2. Equal ideas?….not happening!  Our community often debates new policies, international perinatal experiences, and curriculum updates.  This keeps us all on our toes, which is vibrant and exciting.  Imagine a day where everyone agreed with you?  BORING!  *unless you have small children, then that would be a miracle!*
    3. Collaboration acclaimation:  Our members are often the first to give praise where praise is due, and sometimes that means to Doula Canada, other members, or even those who are in direct competition with their business.  Say what?!  Our doulas are eager to partner with other perinatal workers, regardless of make or model.   But praise can be unequal…. that does happen sometimes!   *Insert the doula Jeep wave*
    4. No person left behind!  Recently a member felt ostracized by the suggestion that “Doula Canada leaves their students to fend for themselves.”  This is quite the fancy tale.  Our team of administrators, instructors, provincial liaisons, and peer community are just a phone call, email, message, or coffee date away.  But alas, not all members need our assistance in the same way, and this makes them unequal in their needs and wants.  That’s ok too!
    5. Name that Doula.  Some doulas love the history of our title, while others prefer “practitioner,” “support person,” or “badass new parent helper.”  Whatever floats your doula/ CBE boat!  Our titles do not have to be equal (or have all the same letters behind them), but they should have a strong foundation of community support, continued learning, and movement forward as a common professional voice.   Those who are unequal in their alphabet ownership should not be seen as unequal for it, they were unequal to begin with… they were themselves!
    6. They make all the decisions themselves.  Ack!  Our members choose their books, their educational units, the clients they work with…. they “own” it.  That makes them unequal for sure!
    7. They get the last word.  Our doulas final assignment is a reflection paper about their journey.  This helps Doula Canada to grow and to prosper from our communities feedback.  Each reflection is personal and confessional.  Totally unequal… but equally beautiful.

    To claim that someone is unequal can be hurtful and questioning.  However equivalency does not make you a better doula or childbirth educator.  Distinctiveness and commitment makes you a good doula.  Passion and purpose.  Community and collaboration.

    At Doula Canada we recognize our doulas are all operating and offering compassionate support at different stages, with different modalities, with different needs, and with different purpose.

    At Doula Canada our purpose and intention is not to be equal….it is to be accepting.

    If our doula training and organization is “not created equal” that’s perfect!

    Doula Canada is unique
    Our members are incredibly trained.
    Our community is filled with passion and purpose.

    *high fives all around*

    ~ Image:  “The Three Graces,” circa 1503-1505, by Raphael.  The three women in the painting may represent stages of development of woman, with the girded figure on the left representing the maiden (Chastitas) and the woman to the right maturity (Voluptas),though other interpretations have certainly been advanced.  Each are unequal in their development and experiences, but equally beautiful and strong.   In mythology the three figures have often been told to depict youth, mirth, and elegance.

  • Birth Trauma Part 2 – When Trauma Takes Root

    Birth Trauma Part 2 – When Trauma Takes Root

     

     ​As doulas, we are given the opportunity to provide support and hopefully enhance the birth experience of our clients. As I’ve outlined in my previous blog post, The Seeds of Birth Trauma, doulas can have some influence on how we prepare our clients to minimize some of their risk in experiencing birth trauma.  Unfortunately though, even with this preparation, the unexpected can happen, and our clients come through the experience feeling traumatized. Also, it is not uncommon for people to hire doulas only after they have already experienced a traumatic birth, and we are then put in the position of supporting them through processing that previous birth before moving on to their next one.

    So, as a doula, how can we best support our clients after they have already experienced a traumatic birth?

    Before I continue, I want to address the topic of obstetrical violence that is still prevalent in western birth culture. Throughout this post, you will see that I reference a client’s expectations, shame, and self-beliefs which I believe can often be the origin of the trauma taking root. That being said, I in no way mean to minimize the seriousness and devastation that comes from obstetrically violent acts which happen all too often to birthing persons in our culture. Part of our role as doulas is to uphold the importance of informed consent and supporting our clients’ autonomy. For more information on obstetrical violence and what we can do about it, go to www.birthmonopoly.com.

    In my work both as a doula and therapist, there are a number of things I have learned about birth trauma. First, the people that supported the traumatized person through the experience, whether that be a doula, or partner, or family member, may not be the most appropriate person to help her process the trauma. As a doula who attended her birth, YOU are part of her trauma story, even if you did not contribute to the trauma. In speaking about her experience, she will likely edit her version to avoid hurt feelings, or blame, or guilt whether this is conscious or not. It is also possible that she could associate you with the traumatic experience and speaking to you specifically about it may not be helpful for her. As her doula, it is important to have this self-awareness, not to take it personal, and offer to refer her to someone who is outside the story circle that has the experience and skill to assist her in healing.
    ​
    Second, I’ve learned that telling a traumatizing birth story over and over again is rarely helpful in healing. Retelling the trauma in detail over and over in the same way engrains the story in our psyche and solidifies the negative self-beliefs we have taken from it. It can often lead to us feeling ‘stuck’ and unable to move forward. A process developed by Pam England, creator and author of Birthing From Within, called Birth Story Medicine has been invaluable to me in assisting women find new ways of telling their stories.

    ​As a doula, if you have a client who has had a previous traumatic birth, encouraging her to tell her story in a different way and shifting focus can lead to a new perspective. For example, instead of retelling their story as they always have from start to finish, I ask clients to choose a moment from their birth that was difficult for them and retell THAT moment, as a snapshot,  preferably in the present tense as if it is happening right now. I focus on how they are feeling in that moment, what emotions are they experiencing, and most importantly, what do they believe about themselves because this has happened to them. In other words, what self-belief are they holding on to – “Because this happened to me, I am ______________”. Some women will identify feeling weak, unworthy, powerless, stupid, irresponsible, not a good mother, etc. When they are able to identify that belief, it often has a visceral reaction and triggers an emotional response such as tearfulness, panic, anger.

    Once that self-belief is identified, using some solution-focused questions to find exceptions to that self-belief can lead to a shift in perspective. For example, asking questions like “what’s one thing you did well/that surprised you/that you thought you couldn’t do but did anyway?” can help them see that there is something MORE true about themselves that’s more positive, more realistic. Focusing on what they want to begin believing about themselves when they think of this moment is a good start. For more information on solution-focused questions and dialogue, I would recommend the book Brief Coaching for Lasting Solutions by Insoo Kim Berg and Peter Szabo.
    ​
    Often times, that self-belief has an element of shame for the traumatized person. Brene Brown, social worker and shame researcher, defines shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging (pg 5). It is also valuable to distinguish between guilt and shame as they both have a very different impact on how we view ourselves. Brown states that “guilt and shame are both emotions of self-evaluation; however that is where the similarities end. The majority of shame researchers agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understand as the differences between “I am bad” (shame) and “I did something bad” (guilt). Shame is about who we are and guilt is about our behaviours.” (p 13). [Read more from Brene Brown in her book  I thought it was just me (But it isn’t)]

    Picture

    In my experience, the self-relief that stems from birth trauma is rooted in shame. Identifying the belief and acknowledging the emotion attached to it as ‘shame’ is the first step in building our shame resilience.  Brown defines shame resilience as that ability to recognize shame when we experience it, and move through it in a constructive way that allows us to maintain our authenticity and grow from our experiences. She identifies four elements to building shame resilience which I have personally found invaluable in assisting birthing persons in working through their negative self-beliefs that stem from their birth experience.

    ​These elements are:

    • Recognizing shame and understanding its triggers – what does shame feel like? What happens biologically and emotionally? What topics or insecurities trigger our shame and what part of our story do they come from?
    • Practicing critical awareness – How realistic are our expectations? How is our personal experiences linked to larger social systems? How does cultural or societal expectations influence this shame experience?
    • Reaching out – Who in my life has earned the right to hear my story? Who can I trust to be gentle with my vulnerability? By sharing our story, we create change – within ourselves and others.
    • Speaking shame – When we speak shame, we learn to speak our pain. By saying “I am feeling shame”, it loses its power and can create connection and empathy, which is the medicine for healing shame.

    When it comes to birth trauma, I believe that when we are able to move past the descriptive details of the experience and shift the focus to how that experience makes us feel about ourselves – this is where the healing begins.
    ​
    You can find more in-depth training in Birth Story Medicine® at https://www.sevengatesmedia.com/. I highly recommend this life-changing course.

    Picture

    This series of blog posts is brought to you from our East Coast instructor Jillian Hand. Jillian shares her perspective on trauma from the lens of social worker and doula in this 3 part series we will benefit from her personal and professional experiences.

    Jillian is a certified birth and postpartum doula through both Doula Training Canada and DONA International and have been involved in the local birth community since 2007. She is one of the original founders of the Doula Collective of Newfoundland and Labrador. Over the years, she has been actively involved in the doula movement both at a local, national and international level. You can find out more about her through her business page Hand to Heart in St. John’s NL. www.handtoheart.biz/

  • The Seeds of Trauma – Part I: Supporting Birth Trauma as a Doula

    The Seeds of Trauma – Part I: Supporting Birth Trauma as a Doula

     

    This series of blog posts is brought to you from our East Coast instructor Jillian Hand. Jillian shares her perpesctive on trauma from the lens of social worker and doula in this 3 part series we will benefit from her personal and professional experiences.

    Picture

    I suppose it’s no surprise that over the past seven years, I have gravitated toward providing therapeutic support to birthing persons, their partners and birth professionals in the area of birth trauma processing and recovery. My master’s degree in social work combined with my passion for birth work has provided me with the education and skill to facilitate these therapeutic conversations toward healing. Of course, as with all experiential learning, I’ve gained a lot of insight into this topic over the years and it has influenced how I work with doula clients while wearing my doula hat.
    ​
    I have developed this three-part blog series with the intention of trying to provide some answers to three questions that are posed to me on a regular basis by other doulas. First, as a doula, what can I do to help minimize the risk of birth trauma; Second, How can I best support my client after they have had a traumatic birth experience; and third, how can I protect myself, as a birth professional, from vicarious trauma? There are no quick, easy answers, but I will do my best to share what my experience has taught me, beginning with how a doula can minimize the risk of birth trauma.
    In the early days of this work, one thing I struggled to understand was how two people could have very similar birth experiences and yet, one will describe their experience as traumatic, while the other seems to have taken it all in the stride. For example, I have had the experience of working with two different birth doula clients on separate occasions. Both had the same obsterician, the same doula (me), the same induction procedures, the same complications down to the letter, and in the end they both ended up giving birth by cesarean. In debriefing with the first client, it was obvious that she was devastated. She used the following words to describe her experience – “violated”, “just a file number”, “cut open”, “robbed”, “disrespected”. I supported her in the best way I could in those early days, and as a new doula, I remember feeling that I had somehow let her down since she didn’t get the experience she hoped for.Fast forward to my second client with the similar experience. I had prepared myself for the same feelings of loss, trauma, and anger afterward that I assumed this client would also experience – but surprisingly, her attitude was completely different. She was disappointed, sure, but she felt like there was nothing more that could have been done and she was happy to have the experience behind her and move on.  These two practically identical births but vastly different reactions started me on my quest to seek out how this could be so. If the actual events themselves didn’t create the feeling of trauma, what did?

    My own research, inquiries, and experience has taught me that one of the biggest influences in birth trauma is the focus, attitudes, and preparation of the birthing person/couple.

    How outcome-focused are they in their vision of their birth experience? Are they rigid in their birth planning? Do they express an unwillingness or resistance to acknowledge and appreciate the ‘unknowns’ in labor and birth? Are they open or closed to learning ways of coping with a deterrence in their birth plan (for example, are they skipping the chapter on cesareans because “that won’t happen to me”)?

    ​ It appeared to me that the more attached a person was to the outcome of their experience, the more likely they were to feel traumatized after the fact if it didn’t go the way they hoped. I consider rigid expectations and lack of well-rounded preparation to be seeds of birth trauma. Once planted, they can take root and grow if other unexpected events are added to the mix – like the client who is adamant that she will give birth at home but ended up needing a transfer; or the client who refuses to acknowledge the possibility of a  cesarean, and yet fails to progress.

    What is a doula to do?

    So, as a doula, what can you do to help minimize the risk of birth trauma? First of all, it is important to emphasize that, as doulas, we are not responsible for outcomes. We cannot make promises to clients that hiring a doula will mean less interventions, a natural birth experience, a shorter labor, etc. Sure, the research suggests that we can make a difference, but in the end, our role is to provide support and encouragement, to facilitate good communication, and to assist in comfort – NOT to guarantee a client gets what they hope for. Doulas new to the profession are particularly more likely to feel the pressure to promise a certain experience and to feel responsible when they cannot deliver. Be conscious of this impulse.
    ​
    Here are some things you CAN do:

    • Facilitate discussions with your clients about the things they have control over (care provider, place of birth, classes they take, books they read) versus the things they cannot control (how long labor will be, when labor will begin, how baby will cope with labor, how their bodies will respond).
    • Take a non-outcome-focused stance in prenatals – acknowledge what their wishes are, but also emphasize the importance of planning for how to cope with those unwished-for events, should they arise. Focus on how they can feel satisfied and supported no matter what the outcome.
    • Prepare them for the possibility of a cesarean birth or the use of pain medication, even if they believe they will not need the information. I call this the “it won’t happen to me” phenomenon. It is a breeding ground for trauma.
    • Suggest they take a non-outcome focused childbirth preparation class. Birthing From Within™ is a good example of a class that focuses on preparing for all possible outcomes.
    • Explore not only their hopes but also their fears when it comes to birth. Ask solution-focused questions like “How would you cope if that were to happen?”
    • Assist in the development of a clear but flexible birth plan. Watch for unrealistic expectations and address them as they arise.
    • Avoid using clichéd affirmations like “Trust Birth” or “Trust your Body” that are outcome-focused and absolute– these can imply to the birthing person that if they just trust enough, they will get the outcome they wish for. This is often not the case, and can lead to feelings of failure and shame when their birth does not go the way they hoped.

    As doulas, we have a lot of influence over our clients. They often see us as being ‘in the know’ and look to us for guidance and support. We have the opportunity to make a significant difference in how our clients perceive their birth experiences based on how we approach the preparation phase of our work together. Prepare them. Tackle the hard topics. Encourage them to keep an open mind. Otherwise, I believe we do them a disservice.

    Stay tuned for parts two and three of my Birth Trauma series. .

     Jillian Hand, MSW, CD/PCD(DONA) Birthing From Within® Mentor
    Jillian is a certified birth and postpartum doula through both Doula Training Canada and DONA International and has a Masters Degree in Social Work  She is one of the original founders of the Doula Collective of Newfoundland and Labrador. Over the years, Jillian has been actively involved in the doula movement both at a local, national and international level. As a Certified Birthing From Within® mentor and doula, and she facilitates childbirth preparation classes that embrace birth as a rite of passage. You can find more information about Jillian here http://www.handtoheart.biz
  • Not everyone needs a Doula.

    Not everyone needs a Doula.

    This statement was recently sparked by a family member who made a comment about doulas. “You think everyone should have a doula,” said my cousin-in-law (a fantastic RN in L & D).

    Wait!

    Do I?

    As the Director of a Canadian certification organization for Doulas and Childbirth Educators this statement seems face-value. Director + Doula Canada = everyone should have a doula.

    Au contrarie mon amie.

    An important tool we set precedent on at Doula Canada is the importance of removing bias. Knowing where our emotional reactions (insert bias) lay is an important discovery into well-rounded and professional “doula support solutions.”

    So, here it is. The shocking doula statement du jour….

    Not everyone needs a doula.
    *insert gasps and dropped jaws*

    Could most people benefit from a doula? Absolutely! Science has proven that shiz.

    However, benefitting and NEEDING are two very different things.

    A person who has a well-prepared partner does not need a doula. Could the partner benefit from the doula? Most likely. It’s all about teamwork!

    A person who does not want to consider birthing options or alternatives, does not need a doula (they could benefit from one, but that is a different story birthy friends).

    A person who is scheduling a repeat caesarean does not need a doula. They, for the most part, know what to expect. Could they benefit from extra support? Perhaps. Mind meets matter here.

    A person who feels confident in their birthing environment and primary care does not necessarily need a doula.

    However,

    Birth, without a doubt, is the most unpredictable human experience.

    A doula may not be needed, but our clients certainly benefit (emotionally, psychologically, and physically – proven by science) from our models of support. It is our non-medical care solutions and our ability to communicate in those moments our clients feel they can benefit from our goal of meeting their needs.

  • I Doula because …

    I Doula because …

    There is something to be said for the passion of a career. That burning desire to jump two feet forward and give it all that you’ve got, without hestitation and compromise.

    For a number of years this was my muse. My profession as a career doula has largely been driven by my passion to support others.

    I love it… and I have been told that I am good at it (after hundreds of births you hope to have found your doula groove). Thank you for the vote of confidence (talking to you Mom)!

    But lately my zany-zest for passionate doulaing has been replaced with a different driver….

    Purpose.

    In the quiet moments of my day I often ponder…. why do I doula? Is it still passion, or is it something more?

    So, here it is, my purpose for why I doula. Perhaps you will connect with some of what I have to share. Perhaps you also ponder why you do this thing you do(ula) . . .

    I Doula because . . .
    I like to meet other people.

    I Doula because . . .
    I never wanted a boss, I wanted to command my own ship (it’s a pirate ship – I like to swear).

    I Doula because . . .
    My daughter. I want to inspire her with the knowledge that you have choices as a strong woman in this world.

    I Doula because . . .
    I want to fill my life with spontaneity. Thanks birth. You’ve got “randomness” covered.

    I Doula because . . .
    Postpartum depression is a real thing, and after clearing the fog on my own PPD I realized others may not find the lighthouse.

    I Doula so that …
    I can be home for my kids when they get off the school bus (most of the time).

    I Doula so that . . .
    No one has to feel that they have to go through the journey of labour and postpartum transition alone.

    I Doula so that . . .
    I can save up and skip the yucky winter months by heading to Costa Rica for doula retreats (buh-bye January).

    I Doula so that . . .
    Our Doula Canada family has another mentor. A person who is hands on and feet forward in the Canadian perinatal world.

    There it is. My purpose/s. My driving forces behind being a doula 24/7, 365 days a year. Living this Doula Life.

    Passion + Purpose = Potential.

    We would love to hear from you! What is your Doula purpose?

    Comment below or email info@stefanie-techops.wisdmlabs.net.

    Curious about the exciting opportunities available through Doula Canada? Check out www.stefanie-techops.wisdmlabs.net

  • A Comfort Measure & Traditional tool: The Rebozo

    A Comfort Measure & Traditional tool: The Rebozo

    Kelly a student of Doula Canada and owner of Blossom Doula Services has a passion for supporting the labouring person. She wanted to share one of the many tools in her toolbox. Here is her take on using a traditional Mexican rebozo in labour and birth.

    Picture

    http://www.loheerebozo.com/birth-tool
    Labour and Birth doulas are always trying to find different ways to help support a person in labour. A Rebozo is a great tool for a labouring person, the best part is that it can be used prenatally and in the postpartum period.What is a Rebozo?
    ​
    A Rebozo is a woven piece of fabric used by Mexican women as a shawl, a baby carrier , and a comfort and positioning tool for pregnancy and childbirth.

    It is generally long enough to wrap around a person’s body. It can be used with the help of your support people/person in labour, as not only a comfort measure but also it can help baby move into an optimal position. After baby is born it can then be used as a baby carrier.

    ​A Rebozo can be used between contractions during early labour, and early active labour.

    While there are multiple different techniques used out there, some of the more common uses of a Rebozo during pregnancy and labour are listed below;

    • Sifting the belly
    • Supported squats
    • Abdominal lift
    • Hip squeezes
    • Rebozo used on a birth ball
    • Used with hot/cold packs
    • Used while pushing
    • Postpartum as a carrier for baby

    A doula could help you with some of these techniques, and it would be optimal to discuss the uses and even try them out before baby comes! When trying out a Rebozo for the first time you should always use caution and use your resources to learn how to preform the techniques properly and always be aware of how the mom is feeling throughout. After a few demonstrations it will be easy for you and your partner to catch on.

    ​​During your third trimester you may find the “abdominal lift” very comforting to help lift the belly up, this could ease any back troubles you are having. Hot and cold packs are great during pregnancy and labour and the Rebozo can help keep them in place. A Rebozo can also help the partner and or the doula help hold positions for longer, (it may be easier than solely using your hands) which is beneficial for everyone.

    Picture

    http://www.loheerebozo.com/birth-tool
    A Rebozo is a great option to help you relax during your pregnancy, labour, and delivery. As a Doula it is a great tool to add to your toolbox. Do your research, honour the tradition and find a tool that works for you.
    Kelly became a doula because she is passionate about strong women, their families and welcoming those beautiful bundles of joy into the world with positivity and encouragement.
    Her career in sonography led her to expand her education into the doula world, and how she could work more in depth with expecting mothers and their partners.
    Kelly Elliott, Labour and Birth Doula Blossom Doula Services www.blossomdoulaservices.com