Category: Labour Doula

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fertility Loss Mental Health Trauma Trauma Uncategorised vulnerabiliity

Light in the Darkness: Interview with Layla Micheals, an Infant Loss Parent

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Light in the Darkness: Interview with Layla Micheals, an Infant Loss Parent 

At Doula School, one of our leading continuing education courses is our Infant and Pregnancy Loss Support certification program, which is such an important skill in our birth worker toolkit. Our gradates go on to support families who have experienced infant and pregnancy loss. It’s important to destigmatize speaking about infant and pregnancy loss because 25% of people experience loss at some point in their fertility journeys. We never want anyone suffering in silence.

Jessica Palmquist, our very own senior instructor and program coordinator for the infant and pregnancy loss programs experienced a unique journey to parenthood made possible through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), which ultimately ignited her burning passion for fertility awareness and birthwork. Through her IVF journey after losing multiple embryos, she understands the importance of talking about loss and fertility struggles. With October being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, Jessica Palmquist interviewed her best friend Layla Michaels, founder of Big Hearts Little Stars and she shares about the loss of her son Ryker and how she found light during her darkest time. 

Jessica and Layla’s friendship began in the early 2000’s when they worked together at a Lululemon pop up store in Moncton, New Brunswick. Nearly decades later, after both women went through Assisted Reproductive Technologies they joyfully were pregnant together, both expecting baby boys who would one day grow up together and be best of friends. Jessica delivered in October 2019 and Layla’s estimated due date was Easter 2020. Layla’s water broke unexpectedly at 25 weeks gestation and she was hospitalized. Layla was in constant contact updating Jessica daily. Two weeks later, Layla delivered her son Ryker who lived a life too short and he died in her loving arms. When Jessica received the news of Ryker’s passing she held her newborn son Hudson tighter than she ever had and sobbed uncontrollably. Her heart had broken that day along with her best friend’s. Layla and her partner Adam had big plans for their son and had already built a life for him. Jessica and Layla had dreams of what their boys’ future would look like. This is another side of loss that often goes unspoken – the loss of the future and the loss of a family’s hopes and dreams. Loss is more than the loss of a life, it is the loss of a life and so much more. Jessica regularly asks about Ryker and Layla gingerly shares pictures from Ryker’s short stay in the hospital and the mementos in their home. Whenever Jessica and her family have the opportunity they honour Ryker on his birthday, holidays, and whenever she writes a letter to the family he is included. Jessica has been Layla’s biggest cheerleader as she has been trying to conceive after her loss. After four long years, Layla is pregnant and Jessica is excited to meet Ryker’s baby sister. 

Get to know Layla, as she shares her loss story:

Would you like to share your story of infant loss?

We became pregnant with our son, Ryker, after two years of infertility and seeking out the help of a fertility doctor. The pregnancy was perfect, I wasn’t sick, and had that pregnancy glow and blissful ignorance thinking nothing would go wrong.  Until it did.

At 25 weeks my water suddenly broke and I was hospitalized. Then at 27 weeks our son Ryker was born via emergency C-section. He was 2lbs 7oz and a fighter! It was touch and go in those first few days, but then he turned a corner and we thought everything would be ok. Then overnight, he developed a brain bleed that wasn’t something that could be treated or survived. We spent the remainder of that day with him, surrounded by our families, as we said goodbye so soon after we had just said hello. It was heartbreaking. But also during that time we created beautiful memories with him and said everything we needed to say. He died in my arms after about an hour and half from being taken off life support.

What was your experience with our healthcare system? 

There is a big gap in experience across the country when your baby dies. But one universal area that I found is that there is not much direction or support for what to expect when you leave the hospital without your child. Your milk still comes in, you are still in active postpartum recovery, but it all feels very foreign and different when the baby you grew is no longer with you. The only check-up is the standard 6 week check-up, which felt years away.  You are trying to heal and trying to process immense grief at the same time and it is truly too much to handle.

What did you find the most helpful in your journey? 

I found the pro-activeness of friends and family to be what was needed. You often hear people say “if you need anything, let me know” or “call me” but when you are in the depths of grief, there is an inability to understand what you need, or have the courage or mental capacity to ask for the help. People would show up at our door with food, or to check on us, or the messages that came in reading “you don’t have to respond, but we are thinking of you and how you’re doing”.  Those messages made me feel open to talking and I would respond every time. Asking me about Ryker and using his name helped as well. My advice to people: “do not ignore what has happened, it may be uncomfortable for you, but it is far worse for the family who has lost their child and are surrounded by people who do not acknowledge the space they are living in”.

You’ve been supporting the pregnancy and infant loss community for many years now. What was your motivation to start Big Hearts Little Stars, an organization that supports families who have experienced the loss of a child?

My motivation for Big Hearts Little Stars was to fill the gap that exists when parents experienced the loss of a pregnancy or child. It initially began with donating books on Ryker’s first birthday, 10 books of stories written by Mothers to Mothers, and 10 of Fathers to Fathers.

It organically grew from there into what we now refer to as our Comfort Boxes. We supply both our local hospitals with large and small comfort boxes that include items to assist families through the grief process after their child dies. Items include a teddy bear, baby blanket, memorial candle, books for parents and young siblings, a booklet of resources (local and other) and some other meaningful items.

We also offer a private support group on Facebook so that grieving parents have a safe space to speak and ask questions with others who have been on a similar path.

What services does Big Hearts Little Stars offer? 

Directly we only have our support group, but we do have connections to a lot of community resources and access to contacts across the province. We will do whatever we can to assist families who reach out.

I have also gone to coffee with a few people, as sometimes it is helpful to have an in-person heart to heart when dealing with such an emotional and difficult time.

How did you find light in your dark time? 

When you lose a child, there is no hope for their future. You can’t hope they’ll get better or magically return home. The reality is, they are no longer here and nothing changes that. The hope or light I found was in sharing our story and the story of Ryker’s life. In sharing our story, I have been told that it allowed other people to find the courage and strength to speak about a loss they had suffered and had never talked about. In being open and honest about the experience it has allowed other people to feel less alone in theirs. That is the hope that I hold onto, the hope that if we are able to help one person feel less alone in their loss, that we can all carry the memories of our children who walk ahead.

What advice can you offer parents who have experienced infant and pregnancy loss?

Take your time, and give your grief the time it needs. This can mean many things. There is no rush to feel better, and no linear way that you will move through your grief. There is no moving on, but you will learn to put one foot in front of the other, and as you do you will always bring their memory with you. The grief will stay with you forever, but it will not always feel as raw as it does in the beginning. You will grow around it, and it will grow around you. I would encourage you to share your thoughts and feelings if it feels right to you, but if not, that is also ok as well. No two people navigate this the same way (including you and your partner).

Are there any resources or recommendations that you would share with parents who have experienced an infant or pregnancy loss?

There are a number or very good organizations within Canada, the US, and abroad that offer support.  Here are just a few:

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Centre (Calgary) www.pilsc.org

PAIL Network Sunnybrook (Toronto) www.pailnetwork.sunnybrook.ca

Return to Zero (RTZ) Hope – US based www.rtzhope.org

Saying Goodbye – UK Based www.sayinggoodbye.org

There are also many groups that are geared towards specific issues that may have effected the loss of a pregnancy or child.  Stillbirth, Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes, Termination for Medical Reasons, and each of these (and more) have their own support sites as well.

What about the parents who want to try again after the death of their baby. What challenges might they face when trying again? Do you have any suggestions that might support them on their journey? 

I don’t think there is ever a right time to try again, if that is something that you wish to do. I strongly believe in therapy as it will help you navigate the decision and also the emotions that will come up during the trying process, whether that includes fertility treatments or you are able to conceive naturally. Once pregnant again, there will be obvious and not so obvious things that may trigger you along the way, based on your history with a previous loss.  

There is a really good app and website for Pregnancy after loss (pregnancyafterlosssupport.org) that I have personally found helpful while navigating this pregnancy. In addition, there is a great book called Pregnancy After Loss by Zoe Clarke Cotes that has day by day reading and journaling which helps families navigate their pregnancy after loss.

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Take care of yourself during this difficult time. Set boundaries where needed, and know that your feelings are valid and you are not alone. When you are ready there is a whole community out there that will help you navigate the days, months and years ahead, and honour you and your baby.

 

About the Author

Layla Michaels (she/her), is a passionate advocate for fertility and infant loss awareness. She is the founder of Big Hearts Little Stars, a nonprofit based in Moncton NB, serving families who have experienced the death of a child through pregnancy to infant loss. Her nonprofit was founded in 2021 after the death of her first son, Ryker in the NICU in 2020. The mission of Big Hearts Little Stars is to bridge the gap felt by parents in caring for their grief after loss, and knowing they are not alone. Families are provided a comfort box from their local hospital with items and resources to assist them in navigating their grief, as well as an online support group. Layla has also volunteered with Fertility Matters on their East Coast Miracles committee, who worked to raise awareness, conversation and political pressure surrounding fertility benefits and access in the Atlantic Provinces. Her personal fertility journey has taken her through multiple procedures in Canada, overseas, and then finally having to seek treatment out of province. It is Layla’s hope that access to fertility care becomes more accessible for all persons wishing to grow their families, alongside compassionate care for families experiencing loss as well. 

Connect with Layla:

IG @laylabun   IG @bigheartslittlestars   Tictok @mamagotguts

Interviewer- Jessica Palmquist (she/her), Doula School’s fertility & loss support program coordinator and senior instructor works with a diverse population and believes education, reproductive health, and wellness services should be accessible and customizable. In addition to Jessica’s training as a certified Fertility, Birth, & Postpartum Doula & Infant and Pregnancy Loss Support Specialist, she is a certified yoga teacher and has worked in the public and post secondary section sector for nearly 20 years. Her own unique journey to parenthood made possible through IVF paired with a passion for teaching, learning, and helping others led Jessica to birth work.

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Categories
Health Care Labour Doula pregnancy Trauma

Empowering NICU Parents as a Doula: Strategies for Support

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1696077782676{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]September is NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit)  Awareness Month. ​This special month is dedicated to acknowledging the challenges families face and providing them with the support and resources they need.

As a doula you will encounter times where families are navigating a baby in the NICU for various reasons. This is an overwhelming and difficult time for all of those involved. It is a traumatic separation of parents and baby. A time where navigating expectations of what parenting was supposed to be and what it is, is up against the fear of will my baby be ok. 

Often times as doulas we feel scared and unprepared in supporting families as they navigate their way through this journey. Here are a few ways you can show up for families in the NICU. 

Listen

Just as you might support someone going through any kind of trauma by listening as they speak, simply lending an open, non-judgmental ear can be of huge help to NICU parents. Focusing on listening ensures that you honor the experience they’re having, instead of clouding it with your insights, birth story, or advice.

Consider starting with, “Do you feel like talking?” before asking any questions about their status or that of the baby. They may really want to share with you how much weight the baby gained that day or how they’re doing on certain good days, or they may really want to vent on some terrible days. But they also may not want to talk.  Asking if they’re open to talking before diving into a conversation is a way to respect their boundaries.

Support them in establishing communication with their baby’s care team: 

NICU parents often feel insecure about how to provide care for their baby who is in such a fragile condition.  It is important for them to know they are just as needed in the NICU as the medical team. 

  • Remind them they are their baby’s best advocate
  • Help them formulate the questions they want to ask
  • Remind them they can provide care to their newborn, changing diapers, taking temperatures, etc. The nurses will support them. 
  • Encourage them to keep a daily journal of their babies progress. keeping track of  baby’s individual body systems, like breathing, digestion, heart, brain, eyes, and any special conditions the baby has.  Keep track of milestones and ask the nurse what the baby’s current goals are.  Sometimes the goals will change daily, and sometimes they will stay the same for weeks.

Offer Practical Support 

As a doula this is our wheelhouse. Just as we would in the home, offering clear and concise suggestions about the type of support you can offer will help overwhelmed parents get what they need. 

  • Work with their support system to arrange food delivery for in hospital support and those at home. Gift cards for restaurants in and around the hospital, premade easy to heat up meals and snacks or even e-transfers will be greatly appreciated. 
  • Offer to do a load of laundry and bring it to the hospital ( or arrange for a family member to do so) 
  • Offer to be a communication liaison between the family and their extended family and friends, or help them find their person
  • Remember that the birther is also dealing with recovery, help them with practical recovery strategies like pain management, pumping, etc. 

Remember that the fear does not end when baby comes home 

 There is a lot of excitement when baby comes home however this doesn’t mean that the fear and concerns have ended. Often parents have not fully processed the trauma of being in the NICU and coming home creates a space for all of that to surface. 

Find the parents counselling and peer support resources. Expect some hypervigilance when it comes to caring for baby. Patience and listening will continue to be important. 

What strategies and tools do you use to support families in the NICU? 

 

Sondra Marcon (she/her). Education and Administration Coordinator
Sondra’s background in family therapy and mental health work drives her to create environment for her clients and students that is both supportive and challenging of bias and assumptions. Teaching and development of curriculum drives her to continue to grow. Sondra’s drive to become a doula came when she saw the impact of early childhood experiences and parenting has on the wellness of both the infant and their parents.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Categories
Business certification Labour Doula

Alumni Journey – Helena’s Doula Path

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Alumni Journey – Helena’s Doula Path

Where it all began –

Back in 2011, being a stay at home mom for over 10 years, working only part time here and there to keep me home with the kids – it was time for change. BIG change. I was losing my sense of self, kids were getting older, my husband had just changed careers and I needed something for ME. I always had a passion for women’s health, nutrition, natural healing. I looked into a few options, but midwifery REALLY resonated with me. Before I could even apply, I needed to upgrade some high school courses to get my grade point average up (apparently my memory of what a great student I was back in high school wasn’t…so…accurate…). I began looking into other things that could help boost my application and that’s when a trusty google search popped the word “doula” in front of my face. I am a mother of three and had never heard of a doula before – but man did it sound like a perfect thing to learn about while trying to pursue my goal of becoming a Midwife. I sneakily went into my “secret stash” of money that I was saving for a new camera and booked myself into a doula training course just 10 minutes from my house. Literally decided to take doula training on a Tuesday, enrolled for that Friday and the rest is HISTORY.

From the moment I attended my first birth as a doula, I knew I was meant to be on the emotional side of birth…NOT the medical. So I tucked my midwifery goals aside, dove head first into my Doula Career and became certified. My Trainer was none other than Stefanie Antunes and since that first weekend together, we have become lifelong friends and “soul sistas”. Stefanie is the real deal people, she’s been there, done that, always re-inventing herself and truly a driving force for better birth.

Stefanie also had this little “project” called the Birth Doula Program she had just launched before I met her and she needed someone to take the reins and work alongside her for a bit. I applied for the position and her and I have been partners in crime to this day, nurturing what many have viewed as a lost cause (more on that in a bit).

A few years later, I found myself wanting to do as much education as I was “doula-ing”, so looked into Prenatal Educator Programs. Once again, I was trained by Stefanie and this time the added bonus of an old high school friend and colleague Jen Rogers. By 2016 I achieved my Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator.

I have been on the Board of Directors for the Association of Ontario Doulas. I have managed the Discover Birth Team. I have consulted with Health practitioners across Durham region helping them to expand the support they offer their expecting clients. I have facilitated seminars and info sessions for Doctors, Midwives, Nurses and colleagues. Give me a microphone people – the stage is my jam.

First and foremost though, I have walked the walk. I have listened more than I have spoken to truly understand a family’s fears and intentions. I have driven the miles, put in the hours, lost the sleep, and cried the tears. Left my kids recitals and missed birthdays. I’ve laughed, hugged and done more hip squeezes than I care to count (in positions I can’t even describe). I may be 50lbs overweight but no one holds a candle to my arm and shoulder strength. I’ve doula’ed through the pandemic – when human rights were being violated, but technology kept the doula in the birth room. I’ve needed support after a long hard birth and I’ve given it right back – even at 2 am when I WASN’T on call. I’ve even had the honour of performing Henna Belly blessings and learning all about the different beautiful cultural traditions of birth.

These past 10 years have been life changing. I’m a better mother, friend and wife because of this career and nothing beats the moment a birthing person looks you in the eye after the hardest and most impactful time of their life and no words even have to be spoken – you just feel the energy in the room – they did it and you helped that confidence bloom.

Being a Doula is a privilege. It’s truly a gift, never to be taken for granted. I lost my mother very young (she passed away from cancer at 39 years), so I know how precious life is. I really feel I was meant to do this work – be there for families, for women, for people.

Some of my favourite memories, so far:

*Medical professionals remembering me from a previous birth and exclaiming to the room, we are in “good hands”.

*Coming full circle as a colleague in the “birth world” when Stefanie and I were ready to change the previous model of the Birth Doula Program and expand it into more hospitals. We secured a meeting with The Director of the Alongside Midwifery unit at Markham Stouffville Hospital. She knew Stefanie professionally and she knew me from attending births together with clients under her care.  After hearing our “pitch” she said: “You are the ones mentoring these doulas and running this program, so I have every confidence they are getting the right support. If you’re teaching them, how I know you both are as doulas, then I see no problem in launching this program”

Or at least I think that’s kinda what she said…cause I was having a surreal girl crush kinda moment being complimented by Ontario’s Midwife # 1 and head of Canada’s first Midwifery led hospital unit…

*Those moments: when you don’t know you’re being watched, when you don’t know yet the ripple effect you’re causing. When the support you give rolls into 100’s of doulas lives – helping them launch their careers and in turn helps 100’s of families.  It weaves into a new parent’s confidence as they bring their baby home. Impresses knowledge so a family can make the best choice for themselves.

As I approach a crossroads in my career, deciding whether or not to hang up my doula shoes, I look back on those moments and feel nothing but gratitude.

Two years ago I put my doula career on hold as we moved from the city to the country and I was a surrogate. Having supported many families with that dynamic of growing their family, it was an honour to have been able to do that for someone. My daughter was able to be there at the birth too – how serendipitous to have had her there experiencing a true miracle. A beautiful little girl was born right on her due date (Thanksgiving Day!) and since then I have only been taking a few clients and teaching online here and there.

My husband’s renovation company is also thriving, so I’ve enjoyed jumping in and learning to manage things together with him.

In the past year, I have stepped away from the Birth Doula Program to a more quiet role (but still help with training new Doulas). I don’t belong to any birth related Boards or Associations (except my son’s local Hockey Centre Board). I’ve also said I’m retiring from doing births and only want to teach part time.

So don’t tell my husband that I bought new doula shoes, booked up my October with classes and may have booked a couple clients the month we are supposed to be taking a family vacation…this Doula isn’t going anywhere.

Parting words?

Listen more than you speak.

Surrender to the moments in labour so you can grow your confidence and truly be present for the person trusting you with this experience.

Don’t spread yourself thin – I have missed ONE birth out of 100’s in 10 years…I wanted to hit the ground running and DO everything when I started my career. Instead be truly MAGNIFICENT in one or two things you do, instead of OKAY in many.

Check your bias at the door.

Stay Hydrated…legit

 

Helena McMann

Doula School Graduate

CD(DONA) Doula

LCCE Lamaze Childbirth Educator

Co-Director, The Birth Doula Program[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Categories
About Us Anti-Oppression Anti-racism work birth Business collaboration community connection decolonization Equity indigenous doula intersectionality Labour Doula LGBTQ2S+ Postpartum Doula research Trauma understanding bias

Doula Canada Presents: Anti-O Bingo

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Aaniin Doulas!

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This month we are introducing a new EDI initiative, and we want our students and alumni to play! Introducing…. Anti-O Bingo!
You’ve given your input, and we’re listening. Through our Truth and Reconciliation Action Plan, and our EDI surveys, we have identified anti-oppression and cultural training as one of the many areas Doula Canada doulas are interested in pursuing.

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How to play:
1. Click HERE to download your free Anti-O Bingo Card
2. Attend an event from each category
3. At each event, ask your facilitator for your custom .jpeg stamp. Paste it into a doc! (Remember to save it!). If you are attending a livestream (Just Birth, Fireside Chat, etc), please submit a paragraph on what you learned to kayt@doulatraining.ca
4. When you have all 8 stamps, please submit your doc to kayt@doulatraining.ca for your Anti-Oppression in Doula Care 101 Certificate and a ballot to win an $100 Etsy Gift Card.

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You have until December 31, 2023. Good Luck!

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Chi Miigwetch! Nia:wen!
Kayt Ward and Keira Grant, EDI Leads

[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_single_image image=”494571″ img_size=”full”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][mk_button corner_style=”rounded” size=”large” url=”https://stefanie-techops.wisdmlabs.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/edi-bingo.pdf” align=”center”]Get Your Anti-O Bingo Card here![/mk_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Categories
birth Comfort Techniques fear gratitude Labour Doula pregnancy

Doula’s Toolbox: Why Birth Affirmations Matter!

[vc_row][vc_column][mk_padding_divider][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1679509016754{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]So let’s talk affirmations. The concept of self-affirmation isn’t by any means complex or far-fetched. Positive affirmations are statements or phrases that, when repeated daily, can help challenge negative thoughts and boost self-confidence.

First, a little science. 

To understand how positive affirmations work and how you can make the most of them, we have to familiarize you with neuroplasticity, which is the ability to rewire the brain. Despite being one of the most sophisticated and complex structures in the known universe, the human brain can get a little mixed up on the difference between reality and imagination. This very loophole serves as the basis of self-affirmation. To elaborate, when you repeat affirming statements daily, you’re helping your brain create a mental image of the goal you’re trying to achieve or the version of yourself you are aspiring to become.

Affirmations require regular practice if you want to make lasting, long-term changes to the ways that you think and feel, even for birth. There is MRI evidence suggesting that certain neural pathways are increased when people practice self-affirmation tasks (Cascio et al., 2016). If you want to be super specific, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex—involved in positive valuation and self-related information processing—becomes more active when we consider our personal values (Falk et al., 2015; Cascio et al., 2016). There is also some reasearch asserting that affirmations can reduce the rate of medical interventions during childbirth.Empirical studies suggest positive affirmations can:

  • Decrease health-deteriorating stress (Sherman et al., 2009; Critcher & Dunning, 2015);
  • Help change the way we view “threatening” messages with less resistance and perception (Logel & Cohen, 2012);
  • Self-affirmation has been demonstrated to lower stress and rumination (Koole et al., 1999; Weisenfeld et al., 2001).

Think of it this way. When you repeat the same thoughts in your head, positive or negative, you start to believe them and your brain forms a pathway of neurons. There is a popular saying: Your words become your world.

Anyway most importantly the purpose of affirmations in labour is actually quite simple: Birth affirmations are sayings or statements designed to change your mindset and help you maintain a positive outlook or mood regarding the birth process.

Preparing your mind for labour and birth is really important, and it is no different from eating well or working on specific exercises to prepare your body for labour.

In order for birth affirmations to work, you need to keep a few things in mind:

You  have to believe what you’re saying

When you have a negative thought or fear, recognize it and deal with it first. This study found that participants with low self-esteem who repeated the phrase “I am lovable” actually had more negative emotions and still didn’t feel lovable because they didn’t really believe what they were saying.

Try to get to the root of your fears or negativity around birth.  Talk to a counsellor, listen to or read positive birth stories and surround yourself with other positive influences.

Keep in mind that sometimes we have to keep saying affirmations over and over again until we do believe it, which brings me to my next point.

Repeat, repeat, repeat!

Create a plan to practice your birth affirmations daily or a few times a week leading up to your birth. Find an affirmation meditation you enjoy, write them in a journal, and practice with your partner, doula or support person, you can even record your own voice memo practicing your affirmations to listen back. Practicing during your pregnancy will make using these affirmations during labour more effective.

They are not just for vaginal birthing.

There’s a common misconception that affirmations or hypnobirthing tracks are only helpful for people planning for an unmedicated birth experience. Plus affirmations are a great tool to complement other forms of pain management in your plan (think about that long drive to the hospital before you get an epidural).

Make them visible: Once your contractions pick up, channelling your focus on affirmations will be more challenging. Print out a copy of your affirmations, save them to your phone, or pack affirmation cards (see the downloadable pdf)  in your bag will give you a visual point of reference to help keep your focus on your affirmations as you ride the waves of labour.

Now that you’ve got a sense of how affirmations work, where can you find the right positive messages for you?  We have a downloadable PDF with a few ( ALSO for doulas this deck is customizable you can add your logo) you can google, or you can ask friends and family to help you out.

What matters is that they are meaningful and believable for you![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][mk_padding_divider][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_btn title=”Customizable CANVA affirmation deck ” color=”turquoise” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fwww.canva.com%2Fdesign%2FDAFd8HHbv8Y%2F_hEn_HPs8cN6DuVZfUaADw%2Fview%3Futm_content%3DDAFd8HHbv8Y%26utm_campaign%3Ddesignshare%26utm_medium%3Dlink%26utm_source%3Dpublishsharelink%26mode%3Dpreview|target:_blank”][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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Business Canada connection fertility Labour Doula pregnancy reducing stigma Uncategorised

7 things you Should know about Menstruation and Why a Fertility Doula can Help!

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_single_image image=”491531″ img_size=”full” alignment=”center”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][mk_padding_divider][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1679506139819{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]A menstrual period is the monthly shedding of the uterine lining. Menstruation is also known by the terms menses, menstrual period, menstrual cycle or period. Menstruation is a normal and healthy part of life for most people with a uterus and no matter what you think you know about it age, hormones or even the weather can change how a person menstruates and how it feels ( A reason for why connecting with a Fertility Doula is a good idea!). Period facts are often obscured by myths about menstruation.  Most people with a uterus get their first period between the ages of 10 and 15 and continue to have their period until their late 40s or early 50s.

So let’s talk about some period facts:

  1. You loose less blood than you think you do: First off, you need to know that only approx. 50% of menstrual fluid is blood. ‘Menstrual fluid’ is not the same as ‘blood’, menstrual fluid also contains cervical mucous and vaginal secretions. On average a person loses anywhere between 1-6 tablespoons of menstrual fluid during each period. It can be thin or clumpy and varies in colour from dark red to brown or pink.
  2. It can take up to 3 years from the beginning of menstruation for your period to become regular: It’s common for cycles to be somewhat unpredictable for about two years after the first period. This means periods may not always come at the same time every cycle. Your periods may also look and feel somewhat different cycle-to-cycle. The first period may be quite short, with only a little bit of bleeding and the second period may be longer with more bleeding. After a couple of years, your cycles should become more regular, but may still continue to vary. Most cycles settle into a predictable rhythm about six years after menarche (the onset of your period).
  3. The average menstrual cycle is about 25- 30 days but not always: The average length of a menstrual cycle is 28 days. The days between periods is your menstrual cycle length. However, a cycle can range in length from 21 days to about 35 days and still be normal. Most people have their period (bleed) for between three and seven days. Once you reach your 20s, your cycles become more consistent and regular. Once your body begins transitioning to menopause, your periods will change again and become more irregular. From the time of your first cycle to menopause, the average menstruating person will have around 450 periods in their lifetime.  Added up, this equates to around 10 years — or about 3,500 days — of the average menstruating person ’s life that will be spent menstruating.
  4. Steps of your Cycle: The rise and fall of your hormones trigger the steps in your menstrual cycle. Your hormones cause the organs of your reproductive tract to respond in certain ways. The specific events that occur during your menstrual cycle are:
    1. The menses phase: This phase, which typically lasts from day one to day five, is the time when the lining of your uterus sheds through your vagina if pregnancy hasn’t occurred. Most people bleed for three to five days, but a period lasting only three days to as many as seven days is usually not a cause for worry.
    2. The follicular phase: This phase typically takes place from days six to 14. During this time, the level of the hormone estrogen rises, which causes the lining of your uterus (the endometrium) to grow and thicken. In addition, another hormone — follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) — causes follicles in your ovaries to grow. During days 10 to 14, one of the developing follicles will form a fully mature egg (ovum).
    3. Ovulation: This phase occurs roughly at about day 14 in a 28-day menstrual cycle. A sudden increase in another hormone — luteinizing hormone (LH) — causes your ovary to release its egg. This event is ovulation. However, some people do not ovulate or they ovulate at different times, more about this later.
    4. The luteal phase: This phase lasts from about day 15 to day 28. Your egg leaves your ovary and begins to travel through your fallopian tubes to your uterus. The level of the hormone progesterone rises to help prepare your uterine lining for pregnancy. If the egg becomes fertilized by sperm and attaches itself to your uterine wall (implantation), you become pregnant. If pregnancy doesn’t occur, estrogen and progesterone levels drop and the thick lining of your uterus sheds during your period.
  5.  Let’s talk about ovulation: Ovulation usually happens once each month, about two weeks before your next period. Ovulation can last from 16 to 32 hours. It is possible to get pregnant in the five days before ovulation and on the day of ovulation, but it’s more likely in the three days leading up to and including ovulation. Once the egg is released, it will survive up to 24 hours. If sperm reaches the egg during this time, you may get pregnant. Some people with a uterus do not ovulate regularly. This is common in the first two to three years after your periods start and during the lead-up to menopause. Some conditions, such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and amenorrhoea (when periods stop due to excessive exercise or eating disorders) may cause irregular ovulation. Individuals with certain hormone conditions do not ovulate at all. It is possible to ovulate and not have a period after. It is possible to get pregnant without having periods in several months, but the chance of pregnancy of much lower when you are not having periods, compared to when you have regular periods. It is also possible to experience monthly periods without going through ovulation first- this is considered abnormal and is the result of something called an “anovulatory cycle”.
  6. Your periods get worse when it is cold: This is definitely an amazing period fact: cold weather can impact your period, making it heavier and longer than normal. During the winter months, a menstruating person’s flow, period duration, and even pain level are longer than in the summer. This pattern also extends to women who live in colder climates rather than warmer temperatures. The seasons can also affect your PMT too — the darker, shorter days can adversely impact your mood when combined with female productive hormones. This is thought to be because of a lack of sunshine, which helps our bodies to produce vitamin D and dopamine — which both boost our moods, happiness, concentration and all-around health levels.
  7. Periods after Pregnancy: After birth, your periods will return at your body’s own pace. It’s possible for your periods to return as soon as 4 to 6 weeks after childbirth. If you bottle feed or partially bodyfeed your baby, you’ll tend to start having periods sooner than if you exclusively bodyfeed. If you choose to bodyfeed exclusively, your first period may not return for several months. For those who keep bodyfeeding, it might not return for 1 to 2 years. The range of “normal”, is enormous. Experiencing a menstrual period does not mean that your menstrual cycle has returned permanently and without an accurate clinical test, you won’t know whether or not you ovulated (released an egg and could potentially become pregnant). You are more likely to ovulate and resume regular periods if your baby is going for more than a few hours without breastfeeding (for instance, at night) and your baby is more than 6 months old. Many bodyfeeding parents experience a time of delayed fertility during breastfeeding. This is very common and is referred to in many places as the Lactation Amenorrhea Method (LAM) of contraception. However it is important to remember that you can get pregnant while nursing, even without a period.

These 7 facts are just the tip of the iceburg when it comes to understanding your body and menstruation. If you have questions, whether you are trying to get pregnant or not a Fertility Doula can help with that![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][mk_padding_divider][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_single_image image=”491536″ img_size=”medium”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_btn title=”Download the infographic here” color=”turquoise” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fstefanie-techops.wisdmlabs.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2023%2F03%2F7-things-to-know-about-your-cycle-1.pdf|target:_blank”][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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birth Business Canada collaboration community Equity fertility Health Care Labour Doula LGBTQ2S+ Menopause pregnancy research sex

2023 Social Media Event Calendar

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Anti-racism work birth Health Care intersectionality Labour Doula LGBTQ2S+ Postpartum Doula Trauma Uncategorised understanding bias vulnerabiliity

Advocacy at Doula Canada

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1669384798061{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]Doulas support birthers, babies, and family members during an intimate and emotionally charged experience that often involves many medical twists and turns along the way. For many doula clients, pregnancy and childbirth are among the most complicated experiences with our healthcare system they will have ever had to navigate. We know that birthers need to feel in control of what happens to their bodies and to be making informed choices about their care to create a positive experience and avoid trauma. 

Doulas can change a person’s healthcare experience for the better by supporting their bodily autonomy and informed decision-making. Additionally, we are well placed to notice systemic issues that impact our clients again and again, and to use our knowledge to encourage and support changes.

Learning to engage in this type of advocacy within the scope of the doula’s role, so that our efforts are helpful, is an important aspect of our learning and professional development. To support our students and alumni, Doula Canada has developed an advocacy framework that defines advocacy in the context of doula practice and describes approaches to individual advocacy that are aligned with respect for client autonomy. 

Our framework identifies three categories of advocacy that doulas engage in: systemic advocacy, self-advocacy promotion, and individual advocacy. 

Systemic advocacy is any effort to change, remove, or add a policy or process that affects the lives of birthers, families, babies, or doulas. Examples include lobbying your elected federal representative to change the birth evacuation policy or amplifying social media campaigns that raise awareness regarding perinatal mental illness.

While we don’t usually think of it as such, our work with clients to support them to know the evidence regarding their perinatal circumstances, and ask the right questions of their healthcare providers is a form of advocacy. We encourage them to use their voice and make their conversations more effective because they are armed with information.

Sometimes, especially in the birth room, it might be necessary to advocate for the client in more direct ways. It is important that this individual advocacy does not manifest as speaking for or over the client, or in a manner that could worsen their care or medical situation.

A 2020 paper by S.S. Yam based on interviews with doulas identified three types of tactics that doulas use to advocate for their clients during labour and delivery. She calls these “soft-advocacy” techniques because they differ from what we usually think of as advocacy. Staff and instructors at Doula Canada agreed they used these strategies and had lots of guidance to offer on exactly how to use them. Their guidance was used to develop the advocacy framework. 

The three tactics identified by Yam are 1) creating deliberative space, 2) cultural and knowledge brokering, and 3) physical touch and spatial maneuvers. 

Creating deliberative space refers to strategies that give the client more time to ask questions and make decisions. One example of how doulas do this is by noticing that care that deviates from their preferences is about to happen and bringing it to the client’s attention, prompting them to ask about the intervention that is about to happen.

Cultural and knowledge brokering refer to the tactics doulas use to make sure the client understands medical jargon or cultural norms. This could involve paying close attention to the information provided by the medical team, observing how well this is understood by the client, and repeating the information in language that the client uses and understands.

Physical touch and spatial maneuvering refers to the ways we use our bodies and physical contact with the client to advocate for their needs. Examples include using our bodies to conceal the client from view, modeling consent by asking permission each time we touch the client, and using our presence to back up the client during interactions. 

The complete framework is linked below. It offers more detail on the three types of advocacy and the soft-advocacy strategies. It illustrates these concepts using case studies based on staff and instructor experiences. 

In 2023, Doula Canada will continue its work to support advocacy among its members by developing an advocacy toolkit from the framework and launching an advocacy working group for students and alumni. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][mk_button corner_style=”rounded” size=”large” url=”https://stefanie-techops.wisdmlabs.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/advocacy-framework-paper.pdf” align=”center”]Click here to view the full Advocacy Framework document[/mk_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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balance birth Business Childbirth Educator collaboration community connection Labour Doula Postpartum Doula Uncategorised Webinar

Standing out from the Crowd in your Birth Work Business

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1655208046361{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]One of my favourite aspects of getting to know more doulas is hearing everyone’s “Why I became a birth worker story”. While there are common themes, every doula’s story is unique and visceral. Our motivations are often connected to our own experiences of birth trauma or the traumatic experience of a loved one. Others want to disrupt the systemic injustices of the medicalized birth model that have impacted them and their community directly. Others are “birth nerds” who are just fascinated by all things birth and baby. Others remember their own experience of wishing they had had more support and more information and want to provide that for others.

Our specific reasons are as unique as we all are. Yet, many of us struggle to communicate this innate individuality to prospective clients. It can be hard to know how to make what you offer clients sound different from the standard list of doula services: “continuous labour support, informational support, assistance with establishing a good latch, emotional needs during labour, non-medical comfort” etc. All of those services are invaluable, but we also know that parents looking for a doula are not just looking for another clinical person with certain skills. Creating marketing materials that clearly convey how you will deliver those services in a way that is different from any other doula can be very elusive.

This is where brand identity comes into play. To be honest, when I hear the word “brand” the first thing that pops into my head is that shoe company’s swoosh. But branding is actually much more complex than an eye-catching, memorable logo. When we see that iconic swoosh, we have specific feelings and perceptions about who wears those shoes and who we would be in them, as compared to any other athletic footwear.

Similarly, our brand as birth workers needs to make it intuitively clear to prospective clients who we are in the birth room and who our support will affirm them to be. When we connect with our audience using a strong brand identity, our business name, logos, shapes, and colours all fit together seamlessly to tell the story of who we are and how the way we do what we do is different from any other doula in our community.

Another thing I have observed about doulas is that the birth worker community is collaborative rather than competitive. Stemming from our deeply personal reasons for taking up this labour of love, we want our clients to find the best fit for their needs. We want a consistent stream of clients without having to haggle with each other for our share of the market.

On Tuesday, June 14 at 7 PM ET, Business Consultant Gaileen Flaman will be supporting us to ensure that our public presence stands out from the crowd. Using a mix of self-reflection, visualization, and storytelling exercises we will emerge with the ability to market with precision and cohesion. This is an invaluable opportunity for anyone building their business who wants to know how to tap into the clients that are looking for you. You can register for the Building your Brand Webinar here!

 

The webinar will be close-captioned. Ticket holders who are unable to attend the webinar live will receive a recording of the session within two business days.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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balance birth Business collaboration community connection Health Care Labour Doula

What Doulas need to know about the Pelvic Floor

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“The pelvic floor is one of the most important elements to birthing beautifully, but many birth workers and health care providers do not appreciate just how integral it is to the birthing experience” says Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist Ibbie Afolabi

Pelvic Floor Therapy is somewhat of a new element in supporting birthing people and those in the postpartum period.  However, the knowledge of its importance is gaining traction in the birth world.  

So, what is the pelvic floor and why does it need therapy? Think of the pelvic floor like a hammock in your pelvis. It is a group of muscles that stretch from the front of the pelvis to the tailbone, or coccyx. It holds up the bladder, bowel and uterus. In most female and some intersex bodies there are 3 passages, or holes. Those are for the urethra, vagina and anus. They are held firmly by the pelvic floor muscles.  If the pelvic floor muscles are too tight or too loose, this can cause damage or trauma to the area during delivery, this can cause more extensive tearing or prolapse after a vaginal delivery. A pelvic floor therapist will work with you during pregnancy on exercises and muscle focus to help bladder leakage, relieve pelvic pain and discomfort, and help prepare you with breathing and positions for labour. This usually involves an internal exam.

The postpartum person also benefits from pelvic floor physiotherapy. If there was a cesarean, a PFT can aid in internal scar healing. Ibbie says on a website biography “We treat incontinence, pelvic organ prolapse, constipation, pelvic pain, sexual pain and dysfunction, abdominal/gut issues, diastasis rectus abdominis, pregnancy related conditions, and much more.”

With all this information, if you are pregnant or just had a baby, it may be worth looking into pelvic floor therapy.  It is covered under most Health Care insurance plans.  If you are a doula, I highly recommend you network for pelvic floor therapists in your area, go meet them, learn about what they do and add them to your resource list for clients.  Who knows, maybe they will start referring clients to you as well!

 

Ibbie Afolabi can be found teaching courses and supporting people throughout Ontario, including with Doula Canada.  You can find here on these websites:

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][mk_button corner_style=”full_rounded” size=”large” url=”https://themamasphysio.com/” align=”center”]The Mama’s Physio[/mk_button][mk_button corner_style=”full_rounded” size=”large” url=”https://pelvicrehab.com/practitioner/ibukun-afolabi-mscpt-pelvic-health-physiotherapist/” align=”center”]Pelvic Rehab[/mk_button][mk_button corner_style=”full_rounded” size=”large” url=”https://stefanie-techops.wisdmlabs.net/courses/pelvic-floor-essentials-for-doulas-birth-practitioners/” align=”center”]Pelvic Floor Essentials for Doulas and Birth Practitioners[/mk_button][/vc_column][/vc_row]