Category: fertility

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fertility Loss Mental Health Trauma Trauma Uncategorised vulnerabiliity

Light in the Darkness: Interview with Layla Micheals, an Infant Loss Parent

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Light in the Darkness: Interview with Layla Micheals, an Infant Loss Parent 

At Doula School, one of our leading continuing education courses is our Infant and Pregnancy Loss Support certification program, which is such an important skill in our birth worker toolkit. Our gradates go on to support families who have experienced infant and pregnancy loss. It’s important to destigmatize speaking about infant and pregnancy loss because 25% of people experience loss at some point in their fertility journeys. We never want anyone suffering in silence.

Jessica Palmquist, our very own senior instructor and program coordinator for the infant and pregnancy loss programs experienced a unique journey to parenthood made possible through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), which ultimately ignited her burning passion for fertility awareness and birthwork. Through her IVF journey after losing multiple embryos, she understands the importance of talking about loss and fertility struggles. With October being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, Jessica Palmquist interviewed her best friend Layla Michaels, founder of Big Hearts Little Stars and she shares about the loss of her son Ryker and how she found light during her darkest time. 

Jessica and Layla’s friendship began in the early 2000’s when they worked together at a Lululemon pop up store in Moncton, New Brunswick. Nearly decades later, after both women went through Assisted Reproductive Technologies they joyfully were pregnant together, both expecting baby boys who would one day grow up together and be best of friends. Jessica delivered in October 2019 and Layla’s estimated due date was Easter 2020. Layla’s water broke unexpectedly at 25 weeks gestation and she was hospitalized. Layla was in constant contact updating Jessica daily. Two weeks later, Layla delivered her son Ryker who lived a life too short and he died in her loving arms. When Jessica received the news of Ryker’s passing she held her newborn son Hudson tighter than she ever had and sobbed uncontrollably. Her heart had broken that day along with her best friend’s. Layla and her partner Adam had big plans for their son and had already built a life for him. Jessica and Layla had dreams of what their boys’ future would look like. This is another side of loss that often goes unspoken – the loss of the future and the loss of a family’s hopes and dreams. Loss is more than the loss of a life, it is the loss of a life and so much more. Jessica regularly asks about Ryker and Layla gingerly shares pictures from Ryker’s short stay in the hospital and the mementos in their home. Whenever Jessica and her family have the opportunity they honour Ryker on his birthday, holidays, and whenever she writes a letter to the family he is included. Jessica has been Layla’s biggest cheerleader as she has been trying to conceive after her loss. After four long years, Layla is pregnant and Jessica is excited to meet Ryker’s baby sister. 

Get to know Layla, as she shares her loss story:

Would you like to share your story of infant loss?

We became pregnant with our son, Ryker, after two years of infertility and seeking out the help of a fertility doctor. The pregnancy was perfect, I wasn’t sick, and had that pregnancy glow and blissful ignorance thinking nothing would go wrong.  Until it did.

At 25 weeks my water suddenly broke and I was hospitalized. Then at 27 weeks our son Ryker was born via emergency C-section. He was 2lbs 7oz and a fighter! It was touch and go in those first few days, but then he turned a corner and we thought everything would be ok. Then overnight, he developed a brain bleed that wasn’t something that could be treated or survived. We spent the remainder of that day with him, surrounded by our families, as we said goodbye so soon after we had just said hello. It was heartbreaking. But also during that time we created beautiful memories with him and said everything we needed to say. He died in my arms after about an hour and half from being taken off life support.

What was your experience with our healthcare system? 

There is a big gap in experience across the country when your baby dies. But one universal area that I found is that there is not much direction or support for what to expect when you leave the hospital without your child. Your milk still comes in, you are still in active postpartum recovery, but it all feels very foreign and different when the baby you grew is no longer with you. The only check-up is the standard 6 week check-up, which felt years away.  You are trying to heal and trying to process immense grief at the same time and it is truly too much to handle.

What did you find the most helpful in your journey? 

I found the pro-activeness of friends and family to be what was needed. You often hear people say “if you need anything, let me know” or “call me” but when you are in the depths of grief, there is an inability to understand what you need, or have the courage or mental capacity to ask for the help. People would show up at our door with food, or to check on us, or the messages that came in reading “you don’t have to respond, but we are thinking of you and how you’re doing”.  Those messages made me feel open to talking and I would respond every time. Asking me about Ryker and using his name helped as well. My advice to people: “do not ignore what has happened, it may be uncomfortable for you, but it is far worse for the family who has lost their child and are surrounded by people who do not acknowledge the space they are living in”.

You’ve been supporting the pregnancy and infant loss community for many years now. What was your motivation to start Big Hearts Little Stars, an organization that supports families who have experienced the loss of a child?

My motivation for Big Hearts Little Stars was to fill the gap that exists when parents experienced the loss of a pregnancy or child. It initially began with donating books on Ryker’s first birthday, 10 books of stories written by Mothers to Mothers, and 10 of Fathers to Fathers.

It organically grew from there into what we now refer to as our Comfort Boxes. We supply both our local hospitals with large and small comfort boxes that include items to assist families through the grief process after their child dies. Items include a teddy bear, baby blanket, memorial candle, books for parents and young siblings, a booklet of resources (local and other) and some other meaningful items.

We also offer a private support group on Facebook so that grieving parents have a safe space to speak and ask questions with others who have been on a similar path.

What services does Big Hearts Little Stars offer? 

Directly we only have our support group, but we do have connections to a lot of community resources and access to contacts across the province. We will do whatever we can to assist families who reach out.

I have also gone to coffee with a few people, as sometimes it is helpful to have an in-person heart to heart when dealing with such an emotional and difficult time.

How did you find light in your dark time? 

When you lose a child, there is no hope for their future. You can’t hope they’ll get better or magically return home. The reality is, they are no longer here and nothing changes that. The hope or light I found was in sharing our story and the story of Ryker’s life. In sharing our story, I have been told that it allowed other people to find the courage and strength to speak about a loss they had suffered and had never talked about. In being open and honest about the experience it has allowed other people to feel less alone in theirs. That is the hope that I hold onto, the hope that if we are able to help one person feel less alone in their loss, that we can all carry the memories of our children who walk ahead.

What advice can you offer parents who have experienced infant and pregnancy loss?

Take your time, and give your grief the time it needs. This can mean many things. There is no rush to feel better, and no linear way that you will move through your grief. There is no moving on, but you will learn to put one foot in front of the other, and as you do you will always bring their memory with you. The grief will stay with you forever, but it will not always feel as raw as it does in the beginning. You will grow around it, and it will grow around you. I would encourage you to share your thoughts and feelings if it feels right to you, but if not, that is also ok as well. No two people navigate this the same way (including you and your partner).

Are there any resources or recommendations that you would share with parents who have experienced an infant or pregnancy loss?

There are a number or very good organizations within Canada, the US, and abroad that offer support.  Here are just a few:

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Centre (Calgary) www.pilsc.org

PAIL Network Sunnybrook (Toronto) www.pailnetwork.sunnybrook.ca

Return to Zero (RTZ) Hope – US based www.rtzhope.org

Saying Goodbye – UK Based www.sayinggoodbye.org

There are also many groups that are geared towards specific issues that may have effected the loss of a pregnancy or child.  Stillbirth, Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes, Termination for Medical Reasons, and each of these (and more) have their own support sites as well.

What about the parents who want to try again after the death of their baby. What challenges might they face when trying again? Do you have any suggestions that might support them on their journey? 

I don’t think there is ever a right time to try again, if that is something that you wish to do. I strongly believe in therapy as it will help you navigate the decision and also the emotions that will come up during the trying process, whether that includes fertility treatments or you are able to conceive naturally. Once pregnant again, there will be obvious and not so obvious things that may trigger you along the way, based on your history with a previous loss.  

There is a really good app and website for Pregnancy after loss (pregnancyafterlosssupport.org) that I have personally found helpful while navigating this pregnancy. In addition, there is a great book called Pregnancy After Loss by Zoe Clarke Cotes that has day by day reading and journaling which helps families navigate their pregnancy after loss.

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Take care of yourself during this difficult time. Set boundaries where needed, and know that your feelings are valid and you are not alone. When you are ready there is a whole community out there that will help you navigate the days, months and years ahead, and honour you and your baby.

 

About the Author

Layla Michaels (she/her), is a passionate advocate for fertility and infant loss awareness. She is the founder of Big Hearts Little Stars, a nonprofit based in Moncton NB, serving families who have experienced the death of a child through pregnancy to infant loss. Her nonprofit was founded in 2021 after the death of her first son, Ryker in the NICU in 2020. The mission of Big Hearts Little Stars is to bridge the gap felt by parents in caring for their grief after loss, and knowing they are not alone. Families are provided a comfort box from their local hospital with items and resources to assist them in navigating their grief, as well as an online support group. Layla has also volunteered with Fertility Matters on their East Coast Miracles committee, who worked to raise awareness, conversation and political pressure surrounding fertility benefits and access in the Atlantic Provinces. Her personal fertility journey has taken her through multiple procedures in Canada, overseas, and then finally having to seek treatment out of province. It is Layla’s hope that access to fertility care becomes more accessible for all persons wishing to grow their families, alongside compassionate care for families experiencing loss as well. 

Connect with Layla:

IG @laylabun   IG @bigheartslittlestars   Tictok @mamagotguts

Interviewer- Jessica Palmquist (she/her), Doula School’s fertility & loss support program coordinator and senior instructor works with a diverse population and believes education, reproductive health, and wellness services should be accessible and customizable. In addition to Jessica’s training as a certified Fertility, Birth, & Postpartum Doula & Infant and Pregnancy Loss Support Specialist, she is a certified yoga teacher and has worked in the public and post secondary section sector for nearly 20 years. Her own unique journey to parenthood made possible through IVF paired with a passion for teaching, learning, and helping others led Jessica to birth work.

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Categories
fertility Health Care research

A Practical Guide to Navigating PCOS

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1694731059747{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)

With Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) Awareness Month upon us, we felt it imperative to discuss the medical condition considered to be one of the leading causes of infertility and a condition most commonly undiagnosed. PCOS is not a lifestyle illness – it is a diagnosed medical condition that can be debilitating. A person does not get PCOS because of their lifestyle. PCOS is a common chronic hormonal condition that causes hormone imbalances, irregular cycles, cysts in the ovaries, lack of ovulation, among other long-term health problems that affect physical and emotional wellbeing. According to the World Health Organization, PCOS affects an estimated 13-18% of individuals with uteruses who are of reproductive age. This is an alarming number. What’s even more unsettling is that there is no cure for PCOS and up to 70% of affected people will go undiagnosed worldwide. Due to a lack of awareness, education, and taboo around fertility conversations many people do not discuss their reproductive health and menstrual cycles with their families and friends. If you speak to someone of reproductive age you are likely to find out that they probably know someone affected by PCOS, they may have been diagnosed with PCOS, or they might think that they have PCOS but be undiagnosed.

Individuals who are not diagnosed and go untreated may be at higher risk for developing conditions that increase the risk of cardiovascular disease, including high blood pressure, obesity, gestational diabetes, and high cholesterol. The condition also puts people at risk of developing increased thickness of the uterine lining, uterine cancer, having a preterm delivery and preeclampsia, and a greater chance of having a miscarriage. Research indicates that early testing, diagnosis, and intervention of PCOS improves fertility preservation and prevents complications such as obesity, insulin resistance, diabetes, infertility, and cardiovascular issues later in life, especially in at-risk cases.

I might have PCOS

If you suspect that you may have PCOS meet with a medical doctor who specializes in hormonal disorders to discuss your concerns. They will check for symptoms, discuss your medical history, and discuss the regularity of menstrual cycle. Some of the common tests for PCOS might include a physical exam – such as blood pressure and a pelvic exam etc…, blood tests, and a pelvic ultrasound.

I’ve been Diagnosed with PCOS

It’s important to talk about this misunderstood condition and its challenges because it presents differently for everyone in ‘real life’ and is considered a lifelong condition.

If you or someone you know have received an early diagnosis of PCOS, this information may be helpful in navigating where to start and getting the support you need:

  • Get a second opinion
  • Determine and understand your condition and presenting symptoms
  • Connect with a medical doctor who specializes in Gynecology and/or PCOS itself
  • Find a supportive medical team who validate your concerns and align with your long-term goals
  • Connect with a Fertility Doula who can support you throughout your journey
  • Find out if the diagnosis was prompted because of Hyperandrogenism, Anovulation/Oligoovulation, or Polycystic Ovaries on an ultrasound so that an appropriate customized treatment and support plan can be created
  • Get familiar with the concept of insulin resistance because there are a number of factors that contribute to high insulin in PCOS, and insulin resistance has been found to be one of the central factors of the condition
  • Determine the major component of insulin resistance in your condition
  • Get familiar with the long-term health considerations in PCOS
  • Learn about other holistic health modalities such as a Naturopathic Doctor for example who can support your condition
  • Explore which treatments will improve your individual symptoms
  • Adjust your lifestyle to reduce the PCOS symptoms

What else can I  do?

Alongside the goals of PCOS Awareness Month we can:

  • increase awareness and education
  • lobby for improved diagnosis and treatment of the disorder
  • disseminate information on diagnosis and treatment
  • hold agencies responsible for the improved quality of life and outcomes of those affected
  • promote the need for research to advance understanding of PCOS: improved diagnosis, treatment and care options, and for a cure for PCOS
  • acknowledge the struggles of those affected
  • make PCOS a public health priority

To lean more, visit:

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Categories
Business Canada connection fertility Labour Doula pregnancy reducing stigma Uncategorised

7 things you Should know about Menstruation and Why a Fertility Doula can Help!

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_single_image image=”491531″ img_size=”full” alignment=”center”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][mk_padding_divider][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1679506139819{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]A menstrual period is the monthly shedding of the uterine lining. Menstruation is also known by the terms menses, menstrual period, menstrual cycle or period. Menstruation is a normal and healthy part of life for most people with a uterus and no matter what you think you know about it age, hormones or even the weather can change how a person menstruates and how it feels ( A reason for why connecting with a Fertility Doula is a good idea!). Period facts are often obscured by myths about menstruation.  Most people with a uterus get their first period between the ages of 10 and 15 and continue to have their period until their late 40s or early 50s.

So let’s talk about some period facts:

  1. You loose less blood than you think you do: First off, you need to know that only approx. 50% of menstrual fluid is blood. ‘Menstrual fluid’ is not the same as ‘blood’, menstrual fluid also contains cervical mucous and vaginal secretions. On average a person loses anywhere between 1-6 tablespoons of menstrual fluid during each period. It can be thin or clumpy and varies in colour from dark red to brown or pink.
  2. It can take up to 3 years from the beginning of menstruation for your period to become regular: It’s common for cycles to be somewhat unpredictable for about two years after the first period. This means periods may not always come at the same time every cycle. Your periods may also look and feel somewhat different cycle-to-cycle. The first period may be quite short, with only a little bit of bleeding and the second period may be longer with more bleeding. After a couple of years, your cycles should become more regular, but may still continue to vary. Most cycles settle into a predictable rhythm about six years after menarche (the onset of your period).
  3. The average menstrual cycle is about 25- 30 days but not always: The average length of a menstrual cycle is 28 days. The days between periods is your menstrual cycle length. However, a cycle can range in length from 21 days to about 35 days and still be normal. Most people have their period (bleed) for between three and seven days. Once you reach your 20s, your cycles become more consistent and regular. Once your body begins transitioning to menopause, your periods will change again and become more irregular. From the time of your first cycle to menopause, the average menstruating person will have around 450 periods in their lifetime.  Added up, this equates to around 10 years — or about 3,500 days — of the average menstruating person ’s life that will be spent menstruating.
  4. Steps of your Cycle: The rise and fall of your hormones trigger the steps in your menstrual cycle. Your hormones cause the organs of your reproductive tract to respond in certain ways. The specific events that occur during your menstrual cycle are:
    1. The menses phase: This phase, which typically lasts from day one to day five, is the time when the lining of your uterus sheds through your vagina if pregnancy hasn’t occurred. Most people bleed for three to five days, but a period lasting only three days to as many as seven days is usually not a cause for worry.
    2. The follicular phase: This phase typically takes place from days six to 14. During this time, the level of the hormone estrogen rises, which causes the lining of your uterus (the endometrium) to grow and thicken. In addition, another hormone — follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) — causes follicles in your ovaries to grow. During days 10 to 14, one of the developing follicles will form a fully mature egg (ovum).
    3. Ovulation: This phase occurs roughly at about day 14 in a 28-day menstrual cycle. A sudden increase in another hormone — luteinizing hormone (LH) — causes your ovary to release its egg. This event is ovulation. However, some people do not ovulate or they ovulate at different times, more about this later.
    4. The luteal phase: This phase lasts from about day 15 to day 28. Your egg leaves your ovary and begins to travel through your fallopian tubes to your uterus. The level of the hormone progesterone rises to help prepare your uterine lining for pregnancy. If the egg becomes fertilized by sperm and attaches itself to your uterine wall (implantation), you become pregnant. If pregnancy doesn’t occur, estrogen and progesterone levels drop and the thick lining of your uterus sheds during your period.
  5.  Let’s talk about ovulation: Ovulation usually happens once each month, about two weeks before your next period. Ovulation can last from 16 to 32 hours. It is possible to get pregnant in the five days before ovulation and on the day of ovulation, but it’s more likely in the three days leading up to and including ovulation. Once the egg is released, it will survive up to 24 hours. If sperm reaches the egg during this time, you may get pregnant. Some people with a uterus do not ovulate regularly. This is common in the first two to three years after your periods start and during the lead-up to menopause. Some conditions, such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and amenorrhoea (when periods stop due to excessive exercise or eating disorders) may cause irregular ovulation. Individuals with certain hormone conditions do not ovulate at all. It is possible to ovulate and not have a period after. It is possible to get pregnant without having periods in several months, but the chance of pregnancy of much lower when you are not having periods, compared to when you have regular periods. It is also possible to experience monthly periods without going through ovulation first- this is considered abnormal and is the result of something called an “anovulatory cycle”.
  6. Your periods get worse when it is cold: This is definitely an amazing period fact: cold weather can impact your period, making it heavier and longer than normal. During the winter months, a menstruating person’s flow, period duration, and even pain level are longer than in the summer. This pattern also extends to women who live in colder climates rather than warmer temperatures. The seasons can also affect your PMT too — the darker, shorter days can adversely impact your mood when combined with female productive hormones. This is thought to be because of a lack of sunshine, which helps our bodies to produce vitamin D and dopamine — which both boost our moods, happiness, concentration and all-around health levels.
  7. Periods after Pregnancy: After birth, your periods will return at your body’s own pace. It’s possible for your periods to return as soon as 4 to 6 weeks after childbirth. If you bottle feed or partially bodyfeed your baby, you’ll tend to start having periods sooner than if you exclusively bodyfeed. If you choose to bodyfeed exclusively, your first period may not return for several months. For those who keep bodyfeeding, it might not return for 1 to 2 years. The range of “normal”, is enormous. Experiencing a menstrual period does not mean that your menstrual cycle has returned permanently and without an accurate clinical test, you won’t know whether or not you ovulated (released an egg and could potentially become pregnant). You are more likely to ovulate and resume regular periods if your baby is going for more than a few hours without breastfeeding (for instance, at night) and your baby is more than 6 months old. Many bodyfeeding parents experience a time of delayed fertility during breastfeeding. This is very common and is referred to in many places as the Lactation Amenorrhea Method (LAM) of contraception. However it is important to remember that you can get pregnant while nursing, even without a period.

These 7 facts are just the tip of the iceburg when it comes to understanding your body and menstruation. If you have questions, whether you are trying to get pregnant or not a Fertility Doula can help with that![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][mk_padding_divider][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_single_image image=”491536″ img_size=”medium”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_btn title=”Download the infographic here” color=”turquoise” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fstefanie-techops.wisdmlabs.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2023%2F03%2F7-things-to-know-about-your-cycle-1.pdf|target:_blank”][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Categories
birth Business Canada collaboration community Equity fertility Health Care Labour Doula LGBTQ2S+ Menopause pregnancy research sex

2023 Social Media Event Calendar

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Categories
birth Canada Equity fertility pregnancy shame vulnerabiliity

Fat.

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Fat.

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1644624846918{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]Read the word.  Read it once, twice, and then again.

How does reading the word make you feel?  How about saying it aloud? 

Most of us have learned to treat fat as a bad word and, beyond that, a bad thing to be.  We hear this from our friends and our peers, our families, our communities, the media we consume, and the healthcare systems we turn to when we’re unwell.  Fat is the punch line of countless jokes, the subject of over 40% of New Year’s resolutions[i], and the fuel of a weight loss industry worth $332.8 million in Canada alone[ii].

Fat people are scrutinized everywhere—in clothing stores that stop at size 14, on airplanes with too small seats, in conversations with relatives that always begin and end with comments on our size.  More than anywhere else, you can find this scrutiny in healthcare.  “Obesity” is listed as a risk factor for almost everything.  Any fat person who has been to a doctor’s office can tell you this. Depressed? Lose weight. Ear infection? Lose weight. Infertility? Lose weight.

When somebody is pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or even just a person between 20-40 with a uterus, their body is monitored in a whole new way.  They might be told that their weight will stop them from getting pregnant, that it will cause them to miscarry, that gestational diabetes will be inevitable, that they will need to be induced early, that their baby will be big, and on, and on, and on.

While any of these things might happen to a fat person, they won’t happen because the person is fat. Intentional weight loss is not a magical cure.  In fact, dieting could even lead to further issues with conception or pregnancy, where a nutrient-rich diet is important and weight gain is linked to the healthy development of the placenta, fetus, and pregnant person.

Over the past several years, there has been a shift in popular culture towards body positivity. Championed by celebrities and social media influencers, body positivity tells us to embrace and love our bodies (and other people’s bodies) as they are.  If this seems like a stretch goal, then we can be body neutral, accepting our body (and other people’s bodies) as they are, as the tools we use to engage with and experience the world.  These approaches can feel revolutionary when we’re used to hating our bodies and can absolutely improve our relationships with ourselves, but they aren’t enough.

Sofie Hagan, author of Happy Fat, explains, “I am not a body positivity campaigner, I am a fat liberationist. I do not care if you love your body or not, I care about abolishing the systemic discrimination and abuse that fat people endure on a daily basis.  Body positivity is fine, but it doesn’t at all fix the problem.” (Twitter, October 25, 2021).

The problems that Hagan is talking about are systemic fatphobia and sizeism. 

Fatphobia tells us that fat bodies are undesirable, unhealthy, and repulsive.  It includes fat jokes in the schoolyard and your grandmother telling you how much weight you’ve gained, but also means that fat people are less likely to be hired, less likely to be seen as attractive, less likely to be taken seriously by their medical providers.  It doesn’t just make people feel bad, it can be a matter of life or death: when Ellen Maud Bennett died of terminal cancer in 2018, her obituary named fatphobia as the cause, explaining, “Over the past few years of feeling unwell she sought out medical intervention and no one offered any support or suggestions beyond weight loss.”[iii]

Sizeism privileges smaller bodies over larger ones.  Not just through beauty ideals but through the systems and structures that we interact with every day.  This can include everything from insurance policies that have a body mass index (BMI) cutoff to hospital gowns and beds that don’t fit larger bodies.

To confront fatphobia and sizeism we don’t just need increased confidence in our own bodies, we need a different approach to size and weight.

The health at every size (HAES) movement is pushing medical providers to recognize that people can be healthy at every size, that fat shouldn’t be treated as an illness, that weight loss shouldn’t be treated as a cure, and that there needs to be (literal and metaphorical) room for fat people in our healthcare system.  It’s an important movement, but still prioritizes health. Fat people can be healthy or unhealthy, thin people can be too. All of us, regardless of size, will experience variations in our health throughout our lives.  We don’t owe anybody good health, and we don’t need to be healthy to deserve respect.

We need fat positivity: a mental and systemic shift that includes and embraces fat bodies, regardless of health. [/vc_column_text][vc_separator color=”white”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1644624383626{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]So, as a doula, how can you provide fat positive support?[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1644624485528{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]1. Don’t ask about or comment on your client’s weight.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1645143545782{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]2. If your client asks about how being fat will impact them during conception, pregnancy, or birth, share evidence-based information and resources that are size inclusive.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1644624540161{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]3.Support your client through their healthcare experiences.  If your client is worried about weight checks, let them know that they have a right to refuse or to ask why they are being weighed.  If they are worried about whether a hospital or birth centre will accommodate them (from weight limits on hospital beds to BMI limits on epidurals), contact the birth location to find out.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1644624580474{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]4. Provide emotional support, recognizing the trauma that many fat people have experienced in healthcare.  Your client might feel anxious, avoidant, or upset when having to interact with healthcare providers or entering doctors’ offices or hospitals.  Validate these feelings.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1644624610152{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]5. Recognize that everything from common birth support positions to equipment like birth balls or birthing pools haven’t been made with fat people in mind.  Consider in advance how to adapt your support to include fat bodies.  If your client is comfortable, this can include practicing support positions to see how they feel for you and your client, as well as any other support people involved.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1644624639055{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]6. Examine your own biases.  We grow up in a fatphobic and sizeist world, and internalize these beliefs from a very young age. Ask yourself what you think and feel about fat bodies, then ask yourself why.  This is hard, ongoing, and crucial work.[/vc_column_text][vc_separator color=”white”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1645287465765{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]Fat people deserve to have our pregnancies and births treated with respect and care. We deserve health systems that see us as whole people and not as problems. We deserve to have our strength and capacity recognized.  We deserve partners, healthcare providers, and doulas who support, affirm, and hold us as we are.

Interested in learning more?  Sign up for Doula Canada’s webinar on Addressing Sizeism and Fatphobia in Birth Work, happening on February 27th from 12:30pm-1:30pm EST.[/vc_column_text][vc_separator color=”white”][vc_btn title=”Click here to register for our FAT: ADDRESSING SIZEISM AND FATPHOBIA IN BIRTHWORK webinar” color=”mulled-wine” align=”center” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fstefanie-techops.wisdmlabs.net%2Ftraining%2Ffat-addressing-sizeism-and-fatphobia-in-birthwork%2F|||”][vc_separator color=”white”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1645287477111{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”][i] https://today.yougov.com/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2020/01/03/canada-new-year-resolutions

[ii] https://www.ibisworld.com/canada/market-research-reports/weight-loss-services-industry

[iii] https://www.legacy.com/ca/obituaries/timescolonist/name/ellen-bennett-obituary[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Categories
birth Childbirth Educator Equity fertility intersectionality Labour Doula Postpartum Doula understanding bias

Using Inclusive Language in Birth Work

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1617899935998{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]Let’s start with this: not all birthing people are women.

The birth world is full of ideas about who can get pregnant, give birth, and parent.  This is reflected in the images we see on social media (hello, white dresses and flower crowns), the materials available to us (the classic La Leche League text, “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding”), and the language that automatically gets applied to pregnant people (“Hi mamas!”)

If you’re somebody whose understanding or experience of parenthood fits into these ideas, you might not have even noticed that they exist. If you’re somebody whose understanding or experience of parenthood exists outside of these ideas, you’re probably painfully aware that they are there.

If your own personal connection to pregnancy and birth is rooted in being a woman, that’s okay. If your passion for birthwork, your reason for becoming a doula, and your personal brand are all rooted in working with women, that’s okay too.  What isn’t okay is forcing these ideas on to people who don’t fit into them.

As doulas, our work is meant to be client-centered.  This means listening to our clients’ needs and doing what we can to meet them. As well as being about which resources you share and which comfort measures you offer, being client-centered is about how you recognize your clients and the language that you use. If you are working with a client whose experience of pregnancy, birth, and parenthood don’t align with your understanding of these things, then it is your job to shift your framework to include them.

Some suggestions:

  1. When introducing yourself to a client, share your pronouns as well as your name: “Hi, my name is Anna and I use she/her pronouns.” This creates space for your clients to share their pronouns too.
  2. Think about the language and images you use in your own materials and brand.  Who does it include?  Who does it exclude?
  3. Share the terms that you use, but acknowledge that clients’ may use different ones.  “I generally use the term breastfeeding, but let me know if you would prefer chestfeeding, nursing, or something else.”
  4. Recognize that we are always learning and growing and sometimes that means we will make mistakes.  If you are challenged on something that you’ve said or done, say thank you and move on: “Thank you– parent, not mom.  I’ll try to not make that mistake again.”
  5. When possible, challenge other service providers’ language and assumptions too.
  6. Find opportunities to celebrate a range of identities, experiences, and families.  You can do this through your conversations with colleagues and clients, your social media, and events like Pride.

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][mk_image src=”https://stefanie-techops.wisdmlabs.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/instead-of.png” image_size=”full”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1617915869980{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]Building an inclusive doula practice means being intentional about the way you understand and reflect who can get pregnant, give birth, and be a parent. Unlearning and expanding these ideas can be challenging, but also rewarding.  Doing this work means that you’ll be ready to work with all clients, not just all mothers.

What are you doing to make your work inclusive?  Let us know in the comments![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Categories
fertility gratitude

Gratitude: A blog by member Stefanie Blackman

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As we approach the Thanksgiving season, I’m finding more quiet moments to reflect on all the ways in which I’m grateful. I’m thankful for my growing family, our health, our friends, and all of the people who have had a positive impact on me since starting my fertility doula business and journey with Doula Canada.

It was just this year that I decided to pursue a career as a fertility doula and enrolled in the March 2019 self-study Fertility Support Practitioner training with Doula Canada. I am grateful for the online webinars in which my classmates and I chatted about our own experiences with our personal fertility and what we learned from working with clients. I am grateful for the wealth of knowledge and experience provided by our instructor, Caylan Barber, and her unwavering support when we needed it.

It’s been a short seven months since starting my business and not surprisingly, it’s a slow process making my way through this line of work. It’s easy to forget sometimes that part of being a doula is also being an entrepreneur and a business owner. I’m grateful for all the people who have pointed me in the right direction, answered my questions, and who genuinely want to see me succeed in supporting menstruators everywhere. This process has opened my eyes to the possibilities of how I can reach more people and also continue to stay home with my children.

I, of course, could not make this dream a reality without the support of my family and my husband, who may not always understand everything that I do, but understands that this is something that fills my cup and thereby makes me a better Mom and better human being.

Lastly, I love being a doula for many reasons, but being of service to others has opened me up in ways that I never thought possible (I love me a good spiritual transformation!). Learning to make and hold space for others as they move through their own journeys toward truth, letting go of ego as well as what is “right” or what “should be” and instead being present to embrace what is. It’s the most challenging yet most rewarding aspect of this calling and I am eternally grateful and humbled for the way it has changed me.

[/vc_column_text][mk_padding_divider][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_single_image image=”146678″ img_size=”full”][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1569859911235{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”]About Stefanie:

Stefanie Blackman Fertility is a service-based business that focuses on fertility awareness, menstrual cycle education, preconception and reproductive health, trying-to-conceive support, and specializing in cycle charting using the Symptothermal Method of fertility awareness. The period of preconception is often not given adequate consideration but is a crucial part of the trying-to-conceive journey. As I always like to say, “plan for pregnancy like you would for your wedding.” While I’m passionate about this part of my fertility doula work, my goal with all of my clients is to unveil the power they have always possessed by using fertility awareness to reconnect to their cyclical nature, to embrace and honour menstruation as a sign of health rather than a monthly nuisance, and to make empowered, informed choices based on their reproductive goals.

Starting at the age of sixteen and through my own diverse experiences with hormonal birth control, conceiving two children, and experiencing miscarriage, I have learned just how important the role of the menstrual cycle is in our overall health, and how it can be used as a fifth vital sign for all menstruators. I have a newfound appreciation and love for my menstrual cycle. I embrace and honour my cyclical nature, and I bring this holistic perspective into my work as a fertility doula when educating others on their own fertility and reproductive health.

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