Doula School Canada

Author: Stefanie Antunes

  • Gratitude for Doula Work with Guest Blogger The Maternal Sidekick

    Gratitude for Doula Work with Guest Blogger The Maternal Sidekick

     

    Hey there folks, introducing an entrepreneurial spirit, a wife, mother to three children under the age of 6, a postpartum doula, personal trainer and an advocate for pelvic floor health, Erika Matkovich.  This day, I sit here writing this article, I am grateful. Full of gratitude for my family, friends, and for what I have done with my doula business, The Maternal Sidekick.

    The Maternal Sidekick is a service-based business focusing on the postpartum family, offering in-home care and personal training services with a focus on pelvic floor health education and awareness.  This area of postpartum wellness is a crucial aspect of recovery after childbirth, with significant impact on a birthing person’s quality of life, which is often not given adequate attention during the postpartum period. My goal with every client is that the family is provided with a more positive postpartum experience as well as realistic expectations of their evolving realities.  Increasing the quality of a new family’s life in this way is an essential part of facilitating their wellbeing and will also serve to enhance the knowledge and awareness of their peers surrounding the value of postpartum support!

    Back Story

    When we finish high school we are funneled into some sort of post-secondary program and with a hope and a prayer from those paying for our education, that program pays off.  Not me, I did the college route, and then spent years jumping job to job never feeling satisfied or fulfilled. It was starting to wear on me, a late 20-something year old with no true aspiration and about to start a family.  Was a stay at home mother my true calling? Don’t get me wrong, I love my little nuggets but still had that career passion void.

    2013, the birth of my first daughter, no complications, and pretty uneventful keeping this little bean alive. As the months dragged on I sunk into a funk that felt like I was losing pieces of my old self and had an identity crisis 6 months postpartum. I didn’t have a large support system and was the first of my friends to have a baby so I felt isolated. I didn’t have the information that I was experiencing postpartum depression, and I was too afraid to ask for help, because I didn’t want others to think I wasn’t a good mother for feeling this way.   Google became my friend trying to find something to heal this crisis I was in.

    I joined a local fitness club specializing in postnatal exercise.  Over the next four years, I witnessed the real struggles, lack of postnatal knowledge, and lack of support faced by new moms outside of this group. In 2016, I pursued a fitness instructor certification and starting teaching postnatal classes and fell head over heels in love.  My newfound awareness and passion for women’s postnatal health and wellness and my own struggles birthed the idea of The Maternal Sidekick.

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  • Why Sex & Birth Support Person? With Tynan Rhea

    Doula Canada in partnership with Tynan Rhea is offering our Sex and Birth Support Person Training again starting October 1st. Below, Tynan discusses the importance of this training and why discussing sex with clients is a vital part of pregnancy and postpartum support . 

    When I give talks to professionals on Sex & Birth, or when I go to talks about integrating sexual health questions into any health profession, there’s one phrase I hear all too often:

    “If my client has any questions, I trust that they will ask me.”

    But here’s the thing… no they won’t! Okay, maybe sometimes, but more often than not people will not come forward with their sexual health questions.

    Why won’t people ask? Because they’re ashamed. Or embarrassed. Or they’re scared they’re not normal, that their care provider will treat them differently, or ignore their question, or make them feel like they did something wrong. Many of us find the topic of sexual health emotionally charged. I teach about it for a living and I still get a little anxious bringing up a sexual health concern with a new doctor. Not because I am ashamed or don’t feel I have a right to healthy sexuality, but because I don’t know what my care providers politics are if they don’t bring it up. I don’t know if this person is comfortable, knowledgable, or even indifferent. I do know that sex is a huge stigma for some folks still, and because of that stigma they may directly or indirectly shame me because of their own discomfort. Meaning, their response to my question could psychologically harm me. That’s a big deal!

    That’s why as front-line birth professionals we have an obligation to directly ask our clients if they have an sexual health concerns or questions. That also means, we need to educate ourselves on what kinds of sexual health needs folks might have during conception, pregnancy, labour, or the postpartum period. That doesn’t mean we have to know everything, you are definitely allowed to say, “that’s a great question! I’m not sure what the answer is, I’ll look into that for you and in the meantime, here is a great referral.” It does mean we have to take initiative, though, and be open to listening to our client’s needs.

    What’s as important as knowledge, is also self-reflection. Has someone ever told you about a food they love to eat that made you want to gag? More than one of my family members hates chocolate, like, really hates it. Luckily, because most people I know love chocolate at least half as much as I do, I don’t feel ashamed for my love of chocolate when so-and-so closes their eyes and makes a gag sound. Sex is similar and in a very important way also different. Because sex is so taboo, and most of us have felt some kind of judgement or shame for some aspect of our sexuality over the course of our lifetime, it’s all the more important to check-ourselves.

    Catch that micro expression of disgust before it happens! Be open to different forms of sexual expression and needs. This doesn’t mean you have to do it! It does mean you have to think about it, reflect on it, and maybe even challenge yourself: where did this assumption come from? What disgusts me about this? What excites me? Why do I think this is okay/wrong/neutral?

    Self-reflection also means not trying to inflict our politics or sexual preferences onto our clients, either. If someone just isn’t into sex before marriage or hitting up swingers clubs, that’s their business and their choice. It doesn’t matter if swinging was your gateway into a personal sexual revolution- that’s your story and it’s valid! But it doesn’t mean it’s theirs. It can be difficult to know the difference sometimes (I’m guilty of it, oh goodness), but that’s why self-reflection is so vital!

    The Sex & Birth Personal Support Worker course is designed to help you gain the knowledge and skills you need to ask the right questions and find the right answers, as well as reflect on your own experiences as a sexual being so you can hold space for your clients. You don’t have to know everything, and you don’t have to love everything, but you do have to provide reproductive health support and part of that support is about sex!

    So, instead of “if my client has any questions, I trust that they will ask me,” let’s start acting from a place of, “if my client has any questions, I’ll know because I asked.”.

    Tynan Rhea is a settler with German and Czechoslovakian ancestry. Tynan has a private practice online and in Toronto as a counselor, aromatherapist, and doula specializing in sex, intimacy, and relationships throughout the reproductive years and founder of PostpartumSex.com. Tynan graduated from the University of Waterloo with a Joint Honours Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Sexuality, Marriage, & Family. They received their doula training from the Revolutionary Doula Training program and their aromatherapy training with Anarres Apothecary Apprenticeship program. Tynan is currently enrolled at Yorkville University doing their Masters of Arts Counselling Psychology degree. Tynan approaches their practice from sex-positive, trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and feminist frameworks. Find Tynan on Facebook, Instagram @TynanRhea or TynanRhea.com

  • Moving in: Getting to know the Community Around you

    Meet Shandelle, Doula Canada’s Public Relations Officer, mom and Doula Extraordinaire. Today Shandelle is sharing her strategies for making a big move with your business in a new community.

    For those of you who don’t know, I moved my family to Nova Scotia, from Newfoundland, in the Fall of 2017.  This may not seem like a big deal to some, but to my husband and I, this was like jumping out of an airplane at 10 000 ft and hoping our parachutes were working. We were moving on a hope and prayer that Nova Scotia would be better for our children, for our skin (we needed less snow), our marriage, and most of all, my doula career.  

    Skip ahead to being here and having three clients booked, and still not knowing anyone in the birth world, AT ALL!  I had to bite the bullet and begin to get my face, and my name out there. I may seem like an outgoing person, but really, it’s all a great acting job most days.  


    The doula community in Newfoundland is small. It’s a tight knit group who supported each other. In Nova Scotia, the numbers were much larger.  I had it in my mind that it wouldn’t welcome a new doula, would find me competition, and that I would be going through my journey alone. Boy was I wrong!

    I started to make a list of people and places to contact.  

    1. Midwives
    2. Doula Canada Doulas
    3. Other Doulas I would see on Facebook
    4. Baby/Pregnancy geared stores
    5. Other health professionals

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